So while driving across the 520 bridge into work this morning, I saw a huge bald eagle sitting on top of a light pole up ahead of me. I decided I had to take a picture as he was looking majestic as fuck and it needed to be captured and posted on my Instagram page stat! But then Myself butted in and ruined it… and saved my life… but whatever.
Myself: What the HELL do you think you’re doing?
Me: Dude, look at it! He’s majestic as shit!
Myself: You are currently driving at a lunatic 60 miles an hour in bumper to bumper traffic with a bunch of other lunatics. If you attempt to find your phone in you purse, then get to your picture app, then somehow zoom in, and take a focused picture of that eagle… you will die.
Me: Well that’s a little extreme.
Myself: Well it’s the truth! So forget it and keep driving with both hands on the wheel you idiot!
Me: You know what?! You are ALWAYS ruining things for me and you NEVER let me have any fun!
Myself: Yes, and you’re still alive, so you’re welcome!
Me: Whatever I hate you and I’m not talking to you anymore.
Myself: FINE WITH ME!
About 5 minutes later, and still not talking to myself, the radio went to a traffic update and announced that there had just been a multiple car accident on the east bound 520, shutting down the bridge and causing extended delays.
Myself: Mmmmmmm, looks like someone was an idiot and decided to take a picture of that eagle… AND DIED!
Myself: Anything to say??
Me:… ya… I bet that was a fucking awesome picture!!
Myself:… I hate you…
(side note: no one died in the telling of this blog post, it was just a fender bender)