I have invented the greatest thing since… I don’t know, nothing has been invented that is as great as the thing I have invented to compare it to.
It’s the Corporate E-mail Filter… I may change the name, not really very catchy, whatever I’ll let the PR people work it out.
So how does my amazing invention work?! LET ME SHOW YOU!
Say an annoying colleague just sent you an email that basically calls you a complete idiot, blaming you for an error that he actually made on his side but is too much of a dip shit to see it.
Ok so go ahead and type out your response email and be as brutally honest as you want:
Hey Jerk Wad,
If you would pull your head out of your ass you would see that I actually can do my job, unlike you, you moronic pathetic excuse for a human being. So why did I send the documentation to the client? Oh I don’t know maybe because, per the attached email you sent me, YOU ASKED ME TO YOU DUMB ASS!!
Lets hope next time you’ll have your shit together enough to know what the hell you’re doing.
Now BEFORE you hit send, click the Filter button:
And this is the email that is sent:
Thank you for your email. I’m so sorry for my error. When you sent the email asking me to mail said documents to the client, I should have verified that was what you actually wanted me to do, my fault entirely.
I will make sure to always double-check in the future so I do not make the same mistake again.
Thank you and have a wonderful day.
TA DA!! Isn’t that amazing!! I’m going to be rich!!!