I don’t like to brag but… MY HUBBY HAS MAGICAL POWERS!!!
Shocking I know, but I discovered his amazing gift last night. We were driving home from stuffing ourselves at our favorite taco stand, and by we I mean me.
Hubby: That light’s going to turn green rriiggghhhhttttt NOW!
Street light turns green as we drive through.
Me: *burp* wow babe lucky, especially since you weren’t slowing down while it was red.
Hubby: Didn’t have to, used my powers.
Me: (unbuttoning my top jeans button) hmm sure.
Hubby: Oh here comes another one… aaannnnddd GREEN!
And sure enough that light turned green as we drove through.
Me: Ok you’ve got them timed, oh god my tummy, but I’ll humor you, you’re truly amazing oh great and powerful wizard.
Hubby: You’re mocking my powers aren’t you? Hey put your seat belt back on!
Me: Ugh! But it’s pressing against my tummy and trust me there’s already way too much pressure down there!
Hubby: Ya, you really should have stopped at 5 or even 8, but honey 10?
Me: HEY! Stop judging, they’re really small tacos so technically it was more like 4 normal size tacos, or 1 really big taco.
Hubby: Ok, open the glove compartment.
Me: AAHHH! You want me to move!? Can’t you see I’m dying? Why would you make a dying woman move!? That’s just mean.
Hubby: Lift your arm 10 inches and open the compartment you big baby.
Me: *SIGH* fine… TUMS!!!!!! Oh there is a taco god! When did they get put in there?
Hubby: Just now, with my MAGICAL POWERS!! It’s not just for green lights.
Me: *whispering* wow, it’s not just for green lights… MAKE IT RAIN PUPPIES!!!
Unbuttoning the jeans was a nice touch. Me too!! You know whats really sad is when you’re wearing really low-rise jeans the fit of which ‘allows’ the muffin top to have a safe place to rest, and STILL have to unbutton the jeans. Me also!! That’s what I get for trying to drink and eat like a man.
I know just what you’re talking about, I wasn’t even a muffin top anymore, I had moved beyond to a mushroom cloud.
Didn’t know if you were full or drunk at first. It could’ve gone either way. By the way, I spend a lot of my life looking for clothes that will cover my mushroom muffin top. 😉
Do you think it will rain puppies in WI?
Maternity pants with their big elastic waist are the only thing that can contain my muffin… and no… no I’m not pregnant.
I’ll check with Hubby to see how far his powers can travel 😀
Too funny … change the tacos to Krystals and you have a scene from my life!
It’s sad how many moments there are like this in my life, but makes for a good blog!