I love my Starbucks. It’s right across the street from work. They all know my name and great me when I visit. And they know my drink by heart and give me extra flavoring cause I believe they truly love me and want me to be happy. But after this morning I can never go there again and I’m not gonna lie, I blame this blog.
It happened innocently enough with Tif and I walking over to Starbucks like always, each with our personal cups. I had my cup tucked under my arm to free up my hands so I could jot down notes on a pad of paper for my next blog, ‘I’ll Be There On Your Judgement Day’. You should keep your eyes out for it, it’s gonna be good.
Me: So there’s this one part, when I’m talking to God, that I’m gonna say “Oh My You!”… get it?… cause I would normally say “Oh My God!”, but because I’m talking to God I replaced it with you… Get it? Funny right!?!
Tif: Ya I got it, you’re very funny and oh so clever.
Me: Hey! I don’t like your tone.
Chipper Starbucks Girl: Morning Mona, Morning Tif!
Me & Tif: HEY YOU!
(we kinda feel bad about not remembering all their names like they remember ours, but we’ve made up for it by using the following thoughtful endearments: You, Hone, Sweety, Darling, Mister Man, Funny Bunny, Serious Face, Extra Shot Guy, Big Hair Dude. We got a little lazy towards the end.)
Chipper Starbucks Girl: Start your usual for you Mona?
Me: Yes Please Sweety!
I then attempted to get the lid off my cup and hand the base to her, but I couldn’t while still holding my notepad. So I shoved the pad in my mouth, unscrewed the top and handed the cup to her. BUT while pulling the pad out of my mouth I saw a small white object sail through the air and land on the counter between us… my gum.
My gum laid there between me and now Not So Chipper Starbucks Girl. We both looked down at it, then up at each other. Without breaking eye contact I slowly reached out my hand, palmed my gum, and brought my arm back to my side.
Me: *whispering with shame* I’m so so very sorry.
Overly Chipper Starbucks Girl: What?! I didn’t see anything!
Me: Oh thank you.
Tif: But I did.
Me: Oh Crap.