I was standing in the checkout line at the little korean owned snack shop in my building when I felt someone watching me. I turned around to see this staring at me from the shelf.
Me: HOLY SHIT!
Uni: Don’t be alarmed Mona, I’m only here to help you.
Me: Help me? How?
Uni: You must kill her.
Me: Kill who!? (following freaky evil purple unicorn’s line of sight), the friendly old korean shop owner lady? No way, she’s always so nice to me!
Uni: Really? Why is it every time you buy a lottery ticket she tells you to split with her if you win big? She’s wants to steal your money, KILL HER!!
Me: No, she’s just being funny!
Uni: Really? Why is it every time you buy a Chobani Peach yogurt she says it’s her favorite too? You buy one like every other day and she says it every time, KILL HER!
Me: No, they are delicious and she’s just complimenting me on my good taste!
Uni: Really? What about that time she sold you a protein shake that had gone bad? You had to come all the way down from the 38th floor to return it, KILL HER!
Me: No, dude chill we have elevators it was no big deal and she gave me 2 free ones for it.
Friendly Korean Shop Lady: You all ready to go?!
Me: Wha? Oh ya, sorry I’m ready. So that purple unicorn you got there is kinda freaky.
Friendly Korean Shop Lady: Me know! Telling husband we return, no one want. And I feel like it watching me and angry. OH you get Chobani Peach, that’s my favorite!!
Me: Ya I know… um can I get a lottery ticket too?
Friendly Korean Shop Lady: Ok but you split with me if you win big ok!?!
Uni: KILL HER!!
Me: ha ha ok, I gotta go. But seriously get rid of that unicorn.
But That's For Another Blog 
That thing is pretty creepy looking! I think its the giant eyes.
Seriously! Who would get that for a child?
Kill her after she brings back that giant wine glass thingy!
HA HA! That’s right I forgot you’ve been there!! 🙂
Ummm…I’m pretty sure any child would be traumatized by that thing. Hell, I kind of am!
RIGHT!?!? I was a hard core unicorn fan as a kid but that would have freaked me out!
Too funny! This could be the start of a horror flick starring Evil Purple Unicorn (unless it gets deported before the movie can be cast…).
Totally! You can’t tell me you wouldn’t scream if that thing jumped out from beneath your bed… great now I’ll be thinking about that tonight.
Well, first seeing it I thought it was kinda cute in the creepy kinda way. (If that even makes sense) Then I read your little convo with it and I agree. Get rid of that thing.
Whew! For a second, I thought you were going to side with Uni!!
omg… I feel like we could be related!!!! lol LOVED IT!
Yay! And I’m Irish, we totally could be related!!!
How cuuuute! Am I the only one that finds that adorable as hell? OMG! I would buy it in a second for my evil little granddaughter.
Congrats PissyKitty! You were just awarded the ‘Worst Grandma Ever’ award!! Your crown will arrive in 5 to 743 business days!!
Ha..ha..ha..ha..
No, really…you haven’t met the spawn of my spawn yet. She’s beautiful, but is going to be deadly when she gets older. The apples that roll from my tree never get too far!
So……I bought one of these for my daughter today. She won’t put it down. In the unicorn’s defense (the one I bought), it’s smiling and cute and not at all subversive. Now I’m feeling like I may have contributed to the corruption of my child though, so thanks for that.
… Watch you back Becky… Watch your back.