Evil Purple Unicorn Wants Me to Kill

I was standing in the checkout line at the little korean owned snack shop in my building when I felt someone watching me.  I turned around to see this staring at me from the shelf.

Me: HOLY SHIT!

Uni: Don’t be alarmed Mona, I’m only here to help you.

Me: Help me? How?

Uni: You must kill her.

Me: Kill who!? (following freaky evil purple unicorn’s line of sight), the friendly old korean shop owner lady? No way, she’s always so nice to me!

Uni: Really? Why is it every time you buy a lottery ticket she tells you to split with her if you win big? She’s wants to steal your money, KILL HER!!

Me: No, she’s just being funny!

Uni: Really? Why is it every time you buy a Chobani Peach yogurt she says it’s her favorite too? You buy one like every other day and she says it every time, KILL HER!

Me: No, they are delicious and she’s just complimenting me on my good taste!

Uni: Really? What about that time she sold you a protein shake that had gone bad? You had to come all the way down from the 38th floor to return it, KILL HER!

Me: No, dude chill we have elevators it was no big deal and she gave me 2 free ones for it.

Friendly Korean Shop Lady: You all ready to go?!

Me: Wha? Oh ya, sorry I’m ready.  So that purple unicorn you got there is kinda freaky.

Friendly Korean Shop Lady: Me know! Telling husband we return, no one want.  And I feel like it watching me and angry.  OH you get Chobani Peach, that’s my favorite!!

Me: Ya I know… um can I get a lottery ticket too?

Friendly Korean Shop Lady: Ok but you split with me if you win big ok!?!

Uni: KILL HER!!

Me: ha ha ok, I gotta go. But seriously get rid of that unicorn.

About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger, Cat Slave, New Puppy Mommy, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
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17 Responses to Evil Purple Unicorn Wants Me to Kill

  1. theladyinredink says:

    That thing is pretty creepy looking! I think its the giant eyes.

  2. Susan m says:

    Kill her after she brings back that giant wine glass thingy!

  3. Abby says:

    Ummm…I’m pretty sure any child would be traumatized by that thing. Hell, I kind of am!

  4. Too funny! This could be the start of a horror flick starring Evil Purple Unicorn (unless it gets deported before the movie can be cast…).

  5. jsh0608 says:

    Well, first seeing it I thought it was kinda cute in the creepy kinda way. (If that even makes sense) Then I read your little convo with it and I agree. Get rid of that thing. :/

  6. Kim says:

    omg… I feel like we could be related!!!! lol LOVED IT!

  7. How cuuuute! Am I the only one that finds that adorable as hell? OMG! I would buy it in a second for my evil little granddaughter.

  8. Becky says:

    So……I bought one of these for my daughter today. She won’t put it down. In the unicorn’s defense (the one I bought), it’s smiling and cute and not at all subversive. Now I’m feeling like I may have contributed to the corruption of my child though, so thanks for that.

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