Tif: That’s gross.

Me: It’s cottage cheese.

Tif: Oh no, I didn’t ask what it is, I know what it is, I was just making a statement that it’s gross.

Me: Sorry, but if I don’t start watching what I eat I’m gonna have planets rotating around the polarity of my ass.

Tif: Ok, so when we left off Fishy’s eye had popped and then he ate it.  Which probably tasted like what you’re eating right now.

Me: Wow, thanks for that.  So, other then the bumping into things, Fishy did fine the rest of the summer until I had to go back to college.  It was a 9 hour car ride and I didn’t want him to tip over, so I crammed boxes all around his bowl so he was nice and stuck in there.  Only he was so covered I couldn’t see him, but I wasn’t worried as he would definitely not tip and that was my biggest concern.

Tif: Oh god, I’m not sure what to expect but I know it will be awful.

Me: It wasn’t awful… just weird.  So I arrived at Hubby’s house, who was then Soon To Be Hubby as we were still dating. I was gonna stay the night there and then finish the final 2 hour drive to college.  So I dug Fishy out so he could hang with us in the house and that’s when I saw him for the first time.

Tif: His other eye had popped.

Me: no… I guess the shock of the long drive in complete darkness was a little much for him cause he’d turned white.

Tif: what?

Me: Ya, like completely white.

Tif: You are making this up.

Me: No! It’s true I thought it was the shock, but later I learned it was because he was oxygen deprived. I guess I’d packed him too good.  So I put him by the window at Hubby’s and checked on him the next day, he looked better but was still kinda white.  I decided to leave him there, as he wasn’t ready for another car trip, and get him the following week.

Tif: Wow, this poor fish. Was he better when you went back down the next week.

Me: Ya, well here’s the thing… I got really busy at school, Really Busy.  And I had to put off getting him a couple more weeks.

Tif: Oh God! Did Hubby not feed him?

Me: No he did, he totally did. But he also moved to a new house and he didn’t want to move Fishy until the very last load… only he kinda forgot. 

Tif: Fishy!

Me: Ya, he quickly remembered when I showed up on his doorstep.  So we went to his old house and lucky the girl who moved in had been taking care of Fishy, so all was good.

Tif: Yay.

Me: Until the car ride back up to college.

Tif: oh geez.

Me: Well I didn’t want to pack him in like I did last time so I just put him on the passenger side floor with some shoes stacked around him.  And we were doing good until I stopped too quick at a stop light… and his bowl fell over.

Tif: Mona!

Me: God I know! I heard the glug glug glug of the water coming out and I had to grab it and he had only a tiny bit of water left, he was swimming sideways just to stay under!  So I sped to a 7-11 screaming the whole way, “Don’t go to the light Fishy! MOMMY WILL SAVE YOU!”.  So I run into the 7-11, with Fishy, grabbed a water, run to the cashier, buy the water, and I’m just about to dump it into Fishy’s bowl when the cashier grabbed my arm.

Tif: ASS!! WHY!?

Me: … actually it was a good thing, he pointed out I had got the water from the freezer and it wouldn’t be good for the fish to be submerged with ice-cold water…

Tif:… you are the worst pet owner ever.

Me: I was panicked!!  So I started pouring water into my hand and panting on it to heat it up.

Tif: …wow.

Me: I WAS PANICKED! So cashier dude pointed out they had a bathroom in the back with a sink I could use.  So I filled up Fishy’s bowl, thanked the cashier dude, went back to my car, shoved Fishy’s bowl between my thighs, and drove like that the rest of the way back to college.

Tif: How many is that?

Me: How many what?

Tif: Awful reasons why you shouldn’t own a fish.  

Me: Oh um, eye popping, oxygen deprived, left behind, fell over, so 4.

Tif: Okay, you said you have 5 reasons, so you have 1 more reason.

Me: Ya my Christmas vacation story.

Tif: Ok save that one for our Starbucks $2 run later today.

Me: mmmmm Starbucks, okay.

Tif: But I don’t think you can top that last one.

Me:… ya… sadly I can.

to be continued… again.