I can’t believe I haven’t told the aaaaawwwwww story yet. It’s called the aaaawwwwww story because that’s the noise girls usually make after I tell them the story. I personally think of it by the other name, HOLY SH*T I’M GONNA DIE, because in the story that was pretty much the main thought going through my head.
Ok let me set it up for you. It was February, Hubby and I had been married almost a year and were moving from Washington to California. We had sold my little Subaru ‘Oliver’, I miss you Oliver! Packed up a U-Haul and took off on the I-5. Hubby was in charge of driving the U-Haul with all our worldly possessions and I followed in our truck with CIA Cat.
We hit the Oregon pass around 7am and it was foggy, like really foggy, like can’t see 10 feet in front of you foggy. But luckily there weren’t really any other cars on the Interstate. I could just about make out the back of the U-Haul when suddenly my truck slid over 2 lanes “What the Fu..!?” and then the truck slid back to the original lane. Oh Shit, I knew what was happening. I had been told the horrifying stories by others who had experienced this… BLACK ICE.
I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced Black Ice, but let me just say, it sucks. You can’t see it, it’s slippery as hell, and all it wants to do is hurt you. But I had been raised in the Northwest, so I knew what to do. I just needed to get off the ice WITHOUT touching my brakes. Once you touch your brakes on Black Ice you’re fucked, royally. So I saw an off-ramp coming up and carefully steered the truck towards it. But as it got closer I realized I was going too fast for the turn right after the ramp… s0… I tapped the brake. I KNOW, stupid! But I was freaked and obviously fear had replaced common sense. So now my truck is donuting down the I-5.
It’s at this time that Hubby looks in his side mirror and sees the truck spinning uncontrollably and disappearing into the fog. Hubby hits the brakes and luckily he was either not on Black Ice or too weighed down but the U-Haul was able to gradually comes to a stop on the side of the road. He jumped out of the truck and sprinted back up the Interstate toward me, leaving the U-Haul door wide open with the keys in the ignition.
Ok, so back to me doing pirouettes down the I-5. I attempted to steer myself out of the spin to no avail. I then realized that the truck was heading towards the shoulder. Good, I thought, I’ll finally stop and then just drive on the shoulder to catch up with Hubby. Sadly I had forgotten that while spinning I hadn’t slowed down from my original speed of 65 and once I hit the dirt sideways the truck, containing me and CIA Cat, was airborne.
There are two things I remember in that moment. I remember putting my hands on the ceiling thinking “Shit, we just got our tires realigned and I’m pretty sure I’m about to fuck it up” AND “huh look at that CIA Cat is flying and she does not look happy about it”.
The truck landed hard and the momentum continued to carry it over sideways, but before it started its inevitable rolling something miraculous happened… it stopped. It teetered on two wheels for what felt like forever and then slowly fell back down on all four. I sat there in shock.
After some hard breathing I turned the ignition and the truck started up. I carefully put it in gear and began slowly driving down the side of the road. Everything was ok, no clunky noises from a screwed suspension, no thump thump of flat tires. I was totally in shock, then I saw a man running down the opposite side of the road. I remember thinking “I don’t think you’re allowed to jog on the I-5”. He then started waving his arms at me, so I waved back at him. He was yelling something, so I rolled down my window.
Hubby: BABE!! STOP!!
Me: Hubby? Why are you jogging on the I-5?
Me: Why are you..
Hubby: I HEARD YOU! STOP THE TRUCK, I’M COMING OVER.
Only he couldn’t, there was so much Black Ice on the road that he couldn’t keep his footing to come across. So he did what I like to think any other hubby would do; when they thought they were going to find their wife dead in a crumpled heap of a truck, but then found out she wasn’t dead but alive and fine, only now they were separated by an interstate of ice… he got down on his hands and knees and crawled across the I-5 to get to me, nearly getting taken out by a red Honda Accord sliding by sideways.
Me: You almost got it by a car!
Hubby: Babe, are you okay?
It was those words that most have broken through my haze of shock, because suddenly everything that had happened came crashing down on me and I started crying. I mean really crying, hysterical can’t breathe crying, and I wasn’t the only one affected by Hubby’s voice. CIA Cat popped her head out from beneath the passenger side seat, her hiding spot after the unexpected flying experience, and began screeching at him.
Hubby opened the door, pushed me over, patted CIA Cat’s head and slowly drove us to the U-Haul truck ,which thank the lord no one had stolen while he was on his jog.
So there you go, my aaaawwwwwww – HOLY SHIT story.