My Parents… Those Lying Bastards.

Looking in the mirror today I realized two things:

1. I have a lot of freckles

2. My parents are lying bastards.

I remember being young and HATING my freckles.  But my parents told me not to worry because as I got older my freckles would fade and then disappear all together… LIARS!

Not only do I still have those damn spots, but I have more than when I was young!

What else have they lied to me about!? Lets take a tally.

 ~ Easter Bunny LIE
~ Santa Clause LIE
~ Tooth Fairy LIE
~ Spinach Makes You Strong LIE
(I’m looking at you too Popeye)
~ This will hurt me more than it hurts you… BIG LIE
~ If you tell us the truth you wont get in trouble LIE… EVERY TIME!
If you keep making that face it will stay that way forever… Pretty sure that was a LIE but was too scared to try it and find out.

~ If you swallow gum it will stay in your stomach forever LIE DAD!  First year High School Biology revealed your deception!
~ OH MY GOD! Spot didn’t go to a farm to live, did he? DID HE!?!

Good Lord! Was anything they told me the truth?… Wait a minute… are they really even my parents!?! I KNEW IT!  NEITHER OF THEM EVEN HAVE FRECKLES!!

About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger, Cat Slave, New Puppy Mommy, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
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10 Responses to My Parents… Those Lying Bastards.

  1. There should be a special absolution for parental lies. We do it with such good intention–that’s gotta count for something, doesn’t it? I keep hoping it does…;)

  2. ambolin says:

    Some of my favorites? “You’re alergic to sugar.” and “Drama causes brain cancer.”
    REALLY? Thanks Mom and Dad.

  3. Rose Ribbon says:

    OMG!! This made me laugh so hard! Hysterical… this has to be one of my favorites. Thanks for posting. I needed that today! 🙂

  4. Love it ❤ with a big heart <—

  5. Kim says:

    I ransacked my house in junior high in search of adoption papers… for no apparent reason… pre-teen angst

  6. I see absolutly nothing wrong with this!

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