Looking in the mirror today I realized two things:
1. I have a lot of freckles
2. My parents are lying bastards.
I remember being young and HATING my freckles. But my parents told me not to worry because as I got older my freckles would fade and then disappear all together… LIARS!
Not only do I still have those damn spots, but I have more than when I was young!
What else have they lied to me about!? Lets take a tally.
~ Easter Bunny LIE
~ Santa Clause LIE
~ Tooth Fairy LIE
~ Spinach Makes You Strong LIE
(I’m looking at you too Popeye)
~ This will hurt me more than it hurts you… BIG LIE
~ If you tell us the truth you wont get in trouble LIE… EVERY TIME!
~ If you keep making that face it will stay that way forever… Pretty sure that was a LIE but was too scared to try it and find out.
~ If you swallow gum it will stay in your stomach forever LIE DAD! First year High School Biology revealed your deception!
~ OH MY GOD! Spot didn’t go to a farm to live, did he? DID HE!?!
Good Lord! Was anything they told me the truth?… Wait a minute… are they really even my parents!?! I KNEW IT! NEITHER OF THEM EVEN HAVE FRECKLES!!
But That's For Another Blog 
There should be a special absolution for parental lies. We do it with such good intention–that’s gotta count for something, doesn’t it? I keep hoping it does…;)
LIARS!! The Bunny and Fairy I never really bought into… but Santa!?! That’s just low.
Some of my favorites? “You’re alergic to sugar.” and “Drama causes brain cancer.”
REALLY? Thanks Mom and Dad.
DUDE! Those are way worse then mine… although I may have to borrow that Drama causes cancer one for some of my girlfriends 😉
OMG!! This made me laugh so hard! Hysterical… this has to be one of my favorites. Thanks for posting. I needed that today! 🙂
YAY!! I love making people’s day, it makes me feel like Clint Eastwood 🙂
Love it ❤ with a big heart <—
OOOHHHH Big heart… nice 😉
I ransacked my house in junior high in search of adoption papers… for no apparent reason… pre-teen angst
I see absolutly nothing wrong with this!