1. I have a lot of freckles
2. My parents are lying bastards.
I remember being young and HATING my freckles. But my parents told me not to worry because as I got older my freckles would fade and then disappear all together… LIARS!
Not only do I still have those damn spots, but I have more than when I was young!
What else have they lied to me about!? Lets take a tally.
~ Easter Bunny LIE
~ Santa Clause LIE
~ Tooth Fairy LIE
~ Spinach Makes You Strong LIE
(I’m looking at you too Popeye)
~ This will hurt me more than it hurts you… BIG LIE
~ If you tell us the truth you wont get in trouble LIE… EVERY TIME!
~ If you keep making that face it will stay that way forever… Pretty sure that was a LIE but was too scared to try it and find out.
~ If you swallow gum it will stay in your stomach forever LIE DAD! First year High School Biology revealed your deception!
~ OH MY GOD! Spot didn’t go to a farm to live, did he? DID HE!?!
Good Lord! Was anything they told me the truth?… Wait a minute… are they really even my parents!?! I KNEW IT! NEITHER OF THEM EVEN HAVE FRECKLES!!