So my parents have bought the farm… AH! No, seriously they’ve  retired to their little farm.  So Hubby and I went up and visited them last week and learned a little more about farming then we really needed to know.

Me: Dad I can’t believe you have chickens and they’re so cute!  I love how they follow you around.

Dad: … I know, I gotta get a rooster.

Me: Why? Wont that be annoying with it all kakadoodiling every morning?

Dad: No!

Mom: *snicker*

Me: What am I missing?

Mom: Yes honey, tell your daughter why you want a rooster.

Dad: The chickens… well the chickens… squat at me… Ellen stop laughing!

Mom: Sorry dear *snicker*

Me:… Okay I’m new to farm life but don’t you want the chickens to squat? Doesn’t squatting equal eggs?

Dad: That’s not why they’re doing it… Ellen if you can’t control yourself, you can leave!

Mom: Sorry dear *snicker*

Me: … okay so if they’re not squatting to lay eggs, why are they squatting?

Dad: because… well… because…

Mom: BECAUSE THEY’RE WAITING FOR YOUR FATHER TO MOUNT THEM!

Dad: ELLEN!!

Me: WHAT!? DAD NO EEEEEEEEYYYYYYYWWWWWWW!

Dad: I know!! It’s disgusting, they think I’m the head of the flock and well that’s what the head of the flock does.  So I’m getting a rooster to be the new head of the flock.

Me:… wow… dad… I mean… wow

SMACK!

Mom: Dammit!

Me: Holy Cow! Mom that bird just totally kamikazed into the window.

Mom: I know!  I put up fake flower garland over the windows to stop them and it was kind of working.

Me: Why’d you take it down?

Mom: The hummingbirds were mistaking them for real flowers and they would just hover there looking at me accusingly.  I couldn’t take it.

Me:  Wow, farm life is tough… or should I say it’s … FOR THE BIRDS!!! HUH?! HUH?! Oh come on give me some that was pretty funny.

Mom: …

Dad: …

Me: Whatever.

Ya I know, I'm going to hell for this one... but come on that's pretty damn funny!