Seriously people these are things I’ve had to tell sales people trying to sell me their idea of a “perfect dress” for my friends wedding.
AAAARRRGGGHHHH! It should NOT be this hard!
So what’s the problem you ask? I can narrow it down to 3 simple answers.
1. It’s not a funeral – I don’t want to wear black. Apparently this is CRAZY TALK as every semi-formal dress made for a curvy girl has been made in black and ONLY black. WHY? To slim me down and “hide those problem spots”… HELLO I like my curves! I eat a lot of ding-dongs to keep this figure, why are you trying to hide it!?
Also weddings are happy and bright and joyful things, why would I want to come as the grim reaper… although in Asia white is the mourning color so they probably think our weddings are depressing as hell… but that’s beside the point! I WANT COLOR!! So they bring out #2.
2. I’m not the mother of the bride – So STOP showing me her dresses. COME ON I’m young…ish. Give me something fun and flirty and me! And that’s when they show they have not been listening to a single word I’ve been saying and scrape the bottom of the barrel to bring me #3.
3. Me:… dude…
Sales person: Isn’t it gorge!
Me: … Dude…
Sales Person: You wont know till you try it on!
Me: … DUDE…