People I swear to God or Alah or Chuck Norris or Whatever you believe in… this story is true and happened 30 minutes ago. Started with me calling our Companies IT number.
IT Dude: Thonk you fur calling International Support Line Mr. Mona Muuuooosssess. (ok stopping the bad Indian accent, because it’s not politically correct and I’m not doing it right. Please read IT Dude’s parts like the 7-11 dude from Simpsons. Thank you.)
IT Dude: I sorry, what?
Me: I’m a lady not a… oh ever mind, I need assistance with changing a company outlook ownership.
IT Dude: Ok, how can I help you?
Me: … help change outlook ownership?
IT Dude: Ok, how can I help you?
Me:… outlook ownership change?
IT Dude: Ok, to be clear you want me to email you outlook?
Me: um no… close, but no. Change ownership of an outlook account?
IT Dude: um ok… Sir, so you know I am calling you from India.
Me: Ya I kinda guessed that, and I called you AND I’m not a dude.
IT Dude: Ok, to be clear you want me to change your name from dude?
(People I’m going to spare you the repetitiveness horror that continued for the next 20 minutes and jump ahead to the end)
Me: *crying* no I don’t want you to send me a new mouse to click on outlook, *whimper* please can I talk to someone else.
IT Dude: ok…. Hello how can I help you Mr. Mona Muussssnnneeess?
Me:… you’re the same dude.
IT Dude: No Sir, to be clear you want me to change outlook ownership?
Me: No I want… OH WAIT NO YA!! Ha ha ha ha I want to change outlook ownership! YES!! HA HA HA HA HA!
IT Dude: ok click help, type outlook ownership, instructions will appear… have I helpfully answered all your questions today?
Me:… click on help.
IT Dude: Yes! Was I helpful?
Me: HELPFUL!? Listen buddy if I ever…
IT Dude: Ok have nice day sir, Goodbye! *click*
They hate us and want to mess with us all the time.
I have a hole in my mouse pad from where I kept stabbing it with a pen, imaging that IT dude ofcourse.
you must be lying. this shit can not happen!!
DUDE! I swore to Chuck Norris!! You can’t lie after swearing to Chuck Norris, it’s not physically possible.
I feel your pain. You did the right thing. You created an outragously funny blog about pathetic outsourcing. I hope you feel a bit better. I feel wonderful after the laugh! Thanks, Dude!
Thank you, I’m also joining a support group for People that have been iritatied by indian tech supporrt… PIITS HA HA HA HA
I’m amused, because this was hilariously told. But I’m also frightened, because it serves as further proof that we are all just so screwed! I’m dreading the day I need to call an IT help hotline. **Knocking on wood and praying to Chuck Norris**
Doing those two things at once causes unicorns to appear on puffy pink clouds… Be on the safe side and take an umbrella
I need to join your group. I can’t talk to them. They make me so made I want to spit nails — and I curse them. That is not a good way to get help. I have no problem understanding them when they stand in front of me, but I can’t read lips over the phone. UUHHHHHH. I pay people to call people like that (my hubby).
I feel your pain 100%! At work I always get stuck calling the IT guys and i seriously think I am losing my mind and am about to go bat shit crazy. I tend to throw pens across the room (only when I’m alone in the office of course). I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but I thank you for the chuckle. 🙂
I dunno, I’m not sure we should be swearing on Chuck Norris in public domains. 😉 Customer service doesn’t always serve a point. I’ve been there.
True! You do have to be very careful when speaking of the Norris.