Hubby: I think we should have babies.
Me: *SNORT* *COUGH* *COUGH*
Hubby: You okay there babe?
Me: Gin and Tonic… up nose… *gasp*… give me a second.
Me: Phew, okay I think I’m good, now what were you saying?
Hubby: I think we should…
Me: I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID! HENCE THE CHOCKING!!
Hubby: Inside restaurant voice babe, people are staring.
Me: That’s because they’re shocked by your statement like me! First of WE should have babies?? What WE? I have the baby. You make a deposit and then come back in 9 months to see the final balance!
Hubby: Ya that’s the way it’s gonna happen.
Me: SECOND… babIES?!? Why is that plural? You come out swinging with the baby talk, the LEAST you could do is have the decency to keep it singular.
Hubby: Well we tend to have twins in my family, sometimes triplets.
Me: OH HELL NO!!
Hubby: Okay this may not have been the best time to discuss it.
Me: I didn’t bring it up! I was talking about how I wish I had ordered the chicken instead of the fish. That was the most dire thought on my mind 5 minutes ago, the fear of possible mercury poisoning. Now I’m all babies on the brain!
Hubby: I just thought…
Me: I know what you thought! You thought “Oh Mona’s had a couple of drinks, she’s all laughy and loopy, I’m gonna convince her to have MANY MANY BABIES!”. Bad form babe, taking advantage of your wife when she’s annebera… inneeber… enearberate… Snookered!
Hubby: Ya I think the word you were going for there was inebriated. And never mind, it was obviously a HORRIBLE IDEA.
Me:… well… I mean… not horrible… I mean… I like baby… see how I did that singular?
Hubby: No, no you’re right we’re a long way from babies, if EVER.
Me: oh… well ever’s a pretty harsh word. I mean… a you and me baby would be cool… ya… I kinda like the idea… we could name her Sassafras, Sassy for short, or if it’s a boy KOHN!
Hubby:… honey this is a baby not a kitty.
Me: And we could buy one of those mini vans with TVs inside!
Hubby: Wooh, mini van? No, no, no, no, no, I’m not a mini van kind of guy.
Me: Ssshhhh I’m thinking, we’ll have to move to someplace bigger. You’ll need to get a second job and I’ll start the house hunting and…
Hubby: Oh look at that dinner’s here!
Me: YAY! FISHY!
Waiter: Can I bring anything else?
Hubby: Another Gin and Tonic
Me: Oh ya mine’s empty.. did I drink that already… huh… what were we talking about?