From: CIA Cat
Re: It’s on.
Greetings Mommy Dearest!
(So be it – I will abide by the Mother reference)
CIA Cat here – and I thought you would NEVER leave this morning. There is a lot of work for a cat to do when a cat is only awake for a couple hours a day.
But let’s get to the point! CIA Cat is not happy!
To quote the most glorious Puss ‘N Boots – “Whatever Happens… I must not … cry… “
I’ve worked hard on purr-fecting this ample behind and have no intention of removing one ounce of this delectable cat goodness. As you may know, you’ve discovered my deep dark secret – yes – that’s right – I’m in to Pussy Porn! (NOT Kitty Porn as you have previously suggested – DISGUSTING – I am NOT a Kitaphile!) Not only that, but on occasion, when no one is around, I turn on the cat cam and let the female felines get a glimpse of the awesomeness that is CIA CAT. I have found the extra pounds drive the ladies crazy – I’m like catnip to them!
So! With that said. – I have news for you! You know how I daily indulge you by presenting my forehead for kisses? HA! Just before I lean in for that kiss – I’ve licked my butt – transferred the yummy goodness to my paw and smeared the tidbits of my apparently “FAT CAT ASS” all over the freshly presented forehead you’re so happily pressing your lips against. The most Cat-astophically funny part is when you also rub your face all over it. Buahahahahaha… BAM! CIA Cat, one! – Mommy Dearest, ZERO!
‘Till next time,
CIA Cat aka Angry Puss!
And here’s my reply.
To: CIA Cat
RE: RE: It’s On
Dear CIA Cat,
I didn’t know you were a lesbian. I’m not sure if this is how you intended me to find out or this was a slip. But with your comments of “I turn on the cat cam and let the female felines get a gimpse…” and “… the extra pounds drive the ladies crazy…” I’m assuming this was how you wanted me to find out… seeing how you’re a female cat yourself… what’s the score now CIA Cat?
Your Proud Mother