I’m beginning to think the holidays hate me. Especially after my miserable loss to Hubby during the Family Thanksgiving Iron Chef Side Dish Cook Off. Apparently stuffing has been “done”, while banana, honey, whipped yams is “imaginative” and “wonderous”… I think my parent a.k.a. the “judges” were bribed… obviously blood is not thicker then scotch.
Anywho, I had put the devastating Thanksgiving loss behind me and approached Christmas with a renewed vigor. Focusing on the Annual Work Cookie Exchange, I decided I was really gonna wow them this year! To make sure my cookies were unforgettable mouthfuls of wonderness, I had combined my 3 favorite cookie recipes to form 1 AMAZING cookie.
I stirred all the awesomeness that was my cookie ingredients into the biggest bowl we had, which was actually a stew pot. In went the chocolate cookie mix, fudge brownie mix, chocolate chunks, butterscotch chips, peanut butter, coconut, chocolate chips, caramel swirl, chopped nuts, crushed peppermint, and mini marshmallows… I know what you’re thinking… AWESOMENESS!!
I rolled my ambrosia concoction into nice big balls and then rolled them again into some powdered sugar, they were giant balls of white, joyful, happiness. I shoved my cookie trays into the oven at 375 degrees, set the timer for 15 minutes, and went to watch Castle.
About 10 minutes later Hubby called me from the kitchen.
Hubby: Babe there’s some weird noises coming from the oven.
Me: No, it’s okay it’s just my cookies.
Hubby: It kinda sounds like popping.
Me: (coming into kitchen to investigate) I’m sure it’s fine. Geez you win one cooking competition and suddenly your Bobby Flay. Step back, I’ll check.
I opened up the oven door right when every cookie on my trays… exploded… I shit you not.
Me: HIT THE DECK!
BOOM! Chocolate, caramel, coconut, mint, goo was flying in all directions. BOOM! Marshmallow fluff was flung through the air, sticking to anything and everything it touched.
I dived towards CIA Cat who had followed me into the kitchen to investigate and now had a terrified ‘Fight or Flight’ look on her face. Seeing my body hurtling towards her, she choose flight, and bolted out of the kitchen.
Hubby was crouched behind a chair screaming at me to shut the oven door. With skills I like to think I subconsciously learned from all the Jacki Chan movies hubby had made me watch, I karate kicked my leg up, slamming the oven door shut.
Me:… *pant* HOLY SHIT *gasp* What… what…
Hubby: What the HELL was that!?
Me: Dude… My cookies were exploding!
Hubby: No Shit! Why? What was in them?
I listed off the ingredients.
Hubby: Jesus babe! No wonder they exploded! You had them jam-packed with everything but the kitchen sink and then included marshmallows that expands in heat! You created a cookie CLUSTER BOMB!
Me:… huh… wow… well maybe if I melt the marshmallow first…
Hubby: No, absolutely not! You’re done! Step away from the stove before you accidentally create a nuclear brownie bomb!
I thought this was a HUGE over exaggeration but seeing how my cookie bomb remnants had hardened into some sort of cement like mixture that made the removal of my cookie sheets from the oven racks impossible, I called it a night.
You win this one Christmas, you win this one.
Stay tuned for Hubby and I on our next great Christmas adventure… Finding the Awesomest Christmas Tree EVER!