Tif and I decided to test the fates and joined a Zumba class… it’s been two weeks and… WE LOVE IT!
Zumba is the dance of my people! My Latin, Spanish, Indian, Irish, People!
While I strongly urge everyone to join a Zumba class, I would like to offer a few morsels of Zumba wisdom.
#1 RESPECT THE ZUMBA BUBBLE!
If I’ve claimed my dance spot, DO NOT sneak up and stand directly behind me! Zumba involves much leaping, sashaying, and spinning with outstretched arms. Did I feel bad about bitch slapping her?… Yes, but dude, she didn’t respect my bubble and anyways it was an accident… kinda.
#2 Men in your class are a onetime occurrence.
There have been two men who’ve attended a class since I’ve been going. The first dude was like 60 and it was obvious his wife dragged him along and he seemed intrigued at first, until the first booby shake move came… he did his best, but we all knew he wasn’t coming back.
Guy number 2 was your classic “I’ve come to hit on you, feel honored”. He may have had a chance with some of the girls, except for the huge cast on his arm. The moment he did his first spin with outstretched arms, we scattered. One poor girl wasn’t paying attention and almost got slammed into the next studio. He left sad and alone, with his cast, who I named Casty the Crusher.
#3 There is no pole, stop dancing like a stripper.
SERIOUSLY! I know we’re all girls and we’re all shaking our hynees and booby thrusting, BUT please stop bouncing your ass in my face like you expecting me to slip a dollar in it! One, you’re not that good and Two, I’m married.
#4 This is Zumba! Not a library. Make some noise people!
This may come as a shock to you guys, but I’m a pretty vocal person and if I’ve just completed a jump, sashay, shimmy, leap, pivot, perfectly! I’m gonna let out a “HELLZ YA!”… please stop staring at me like I just dropped a deuce on the dance floor.
#5 If you fall… roll with it.
During a really hard back jump run thing a girl fell down in front of me. For a fraction of a second I was embarrased/horrified for her, but then she used the falling momentum to tuck, roll, and spring back up on her feet totally nailing the next move like nothing happened… SHE WAS LIKE A GOD! A nimble, flying, dancing God!!
I told Tif that if I fell I was going to do the exact same move. Tif pointed out that if I fell I would probably be laughing so hard I would just lay there and be trampled by the rest of the class… harsh Tif… true… but harsh.