Zumba in 5 awkward steps

Tif and I decided to test the fates and joined a Zumba class… it’s been two weeks and… WE LOVE IT!

Zumba is the dance of my people! My Latin, Spanish, Indian, Irish, People!

While I strongly urge everyone to join a Zumba class, I would like to offer a few morsels of Zumba wisdom.

#1 RESPECT THE ZUMBA BUBBLE!

If I’ve claimed my dance spot, DO NOT sneak up and stand directly behind me! Zumba involves much leaping, sashaying, and spinning with outstretched arms.  Did I feel bad about bitch slapping her?… Yes, but dude, she didn’t respect my bubble and anyways it was an accident… kinda.

#2 Men in your class are a onetime occurrence. 

There have been two men who’ve attended a class since I’ve been going. The first dude was like 60 and it was obvious his wife dragged him along and he seemed intrigued at first, until the first booby shake move came… he did his best, but we all knew he wasn’t coming back.

Guy number 2 was your classic “I’ve come to hit on you, feel honored”. He may have had a chance with some of the girls, except for the huge cast on his arm. The moment he did his first spin with outstretched arms, we scattered.  One poor girl wasn’t paying attention and almost got slammed into the next studio. He left sad and alone, with his cast, who I named Casty the Crusher.

#3 There is no pole, stop dancing like a stripper. 

SERIOUSLY! I know we’re all girls and we’re all shaking our hynees and booby thrusting, BUT please stop bouncing your ass in my face like you expecting me to slip a dollar in it! One, you’re not that good and Two, I’m married.

#4 This is Zumba! Not a library. Make some noise people!

This may come as a shock to you guys, but I’m a pretty vocal person and if I’ve just completed a jump, sashay, shimmy, leap, pivot, perfectly! I’m gonna let out a “HELLZ YA!”… please stop staring at me like I just dropped a deuce on the dance floor.

#5 If you fall… roll with it. 

During a really hard back jump run thing a girl fell down in front of me. For a fraction of a second I was embarrased/horrified for her, but then she used the falling momentum to tuck, roll, and spring back up on her feet totally nailing the next move like nothing happened… SHE WAS LIKE A GOD! A nimble, flying, dancing God!!

I told Tif that if I fell I was going to do the exact same move.  Tif pointed out that if I fell I would probably be laughing so hard I would just lay there and be trampled by the rest of the class… harsh Tif… true… but harsh.

About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger, Cat Slave, New Puppy Mommy, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
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14 Responses to Zumba in 5 awkward steps

  1. W. R. Woolf says:

    Poor “guy number 2”, but someone could write a saga about his cast. Casty the Crusher is a great saga name 😉
    The picture is great 🙂

  2. Tiffany says:

    So very very very TRUE! Espeically the picture. 🙂

  3. Pingback: I’ve Fallen and …. « Diary of an Angry Fat Woman

  4. Shonnie says:

    It’s all your fault that I hurt myself while reading your blog! Crackin’ me up and all! I love Zumba

  5. hrockwel says:

    I’ve never tried Zumba but I know a lot of disciples. If I could get over feeling like a total idiot the first few times, I’m sure I would come to love it. 🙂

  6. So identify with the picture……

  7. The “How we feel/How we look” picture is hysterical and, unfortunately, accurate.

    I’ve tried Zumba. I’d much rather shake my groove thang my myself and let my body move to my own inner drummer. I was never one to do the Hustle, Macarana, or Line dancing. I guess I’m just a free spirit.

    Funny post. If you’re having fun and no one gets hurt, got for it, Girl!

  8. SilentMyth says:

    Zumba sounds fun or maybe it is you who made it sound interesting =D

  9. Shonnie says:

    I have been talking about this post with my exercise buddies. WE all have strange images of ourselves when we work out. So I had to share this Zumba Info with you–I want you and your pole dancing buddies to get all they can out of this workout.

    5 Ways to Burn More Fat in Zumba Class
    FEBRUARY 7, 2012 | 2:22PM

    Master Zumba instructor Staci Boyer’s top tips to maximize your workout.
    By:
    Jessica Smith
    Love Zumba? You’re not alone! The ZUMBA PROGRAM has helped melt the pounds and inches off 12 million Zumba-enthusiasts in 125 countries, according to the Zumba Fitness website. The Latin-dance inspired workout features fast and slow rhythms which, when combined, SUCCESSFULLY TONE AND SCULPT THE BODY and burn fat.

    We caught up with master Zumba instructor Staci Boyer [LINK] to get her top tips for burning even more calories (and having even more fun) during YOUR FAVORITE ZUMBA CLASS:

    1. Let Loose
    Zumba is all about having fun, and joining the party, which is hard to do if you’re stiff or self-conscious! The best way to burn more calories in class is to let go, have fun, and try not to think too much. “Letting yourself go will let the calories go!” Boyer says.

    2. Maximize Your Arm Movement
    During the moves, be sure to fully extend your arms, Boyer says. You’ll boost your calorie burn and engage more muscles by maximizing your arm movements during class. “It’s not that tricky and you can do a lot for your body by lengthening, raising, and extending with oomph.”

    3. Move Up and Down More
    “When your instructor takes you though a level change try and do it,” Boyer says. All that up and down movement will not only boost your burn, it will also get your glutes, hips, and thigh muscles firing even more. “Sit into your moves, bend your knees, and go up and down and all around as much as you can—level changes burn calories!”

    4. Work Your Booty
    “There is always a lot of booty shaking in Zumba!” Boyer says. “Just shake it—and shake it good (to best do this, see tip #1).” Boyer recommends pressing through your heels whenever you can to maximize the move’s booty shaping benefits.

    5. Rock the Moves You Know
    So maybe you don’t have every move mastered yet, that’s OK! You can still get a great workout as long as you rock the moves you’ve got! “Always accentuate the moves that you are actually comfortable with,” Boyer says. “Make the most out of that shimmy you love, or the salsa step you have mastered. Feel confident in adding your own flair to the movement. If you know it, show it!”

    I shared because I love you — you know kinda like your mamma told you how much more this was gonna hurt her than you! 😉
    http://m.shape.com/v/Fitness/5WaysBurnMore/?KSID=e6de0b132b8272b045a2f84244016654&ints_viewed=1

  10. Shonnie says:

    I just sent your post to my buddies at the Y

  11. Alisha says:

    I can’t believe how viral this photo has gone. I created it last year after a friend of mine invited me to go to Zumba with her. HAHA!

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