What I said… What I meant

So we had a bit of a health scare at our house last night.  I think I handled it pretty well, on the outside.

It all started with an in-grown nose hair (seriously, doesn’t it always?).

Hubby: Babe, I think I have an in-grown hair in my nose.

Me: ow, that sucks.

Hubby: ya, or it could be a pimple.

Me: hhmmm interesting.

Hubby:… could you look?

Me: … what…really?

Hubby: Seriously honey, it’s killing me.

Me: *sigh* fine. Lay down, let’s see what we got.  Ten years of marriage and I’ve been demoted to nose checker… OH!

Hubby: What!? What do you see?

What I said: Um okay… I do see something.
What I was thinking: HOLY SHIT!!!

Hubby: and?

What I said: It looks like one side of the inside of your nostril is inflamed.
What I was thinking: IT’S A TUMOR! OH MY GOD HE HAS CANCER!!

Hubby: Inflamed? What does it look like?

What I said: Well, it’s a big red bump.
What I was thinking: TUMOR, CANCER, WHY GOD WHY!?! I’M GONNA BE A WIDOW… I CAN’T PULL OFF BEING A WIDOW! I’M 35 AND BLONDE… NO ONE’S GONNA FEEL BAD FOR A BLONDE 35 YEAR OLD WIDOW!?!?!

Hubby: Well let’s see what google says.

What I said: That’s a good idea.
What I was thinking: HE’S GONNA FIND OUT THE TRUTH FROM GOOGLE, HE WONT BE ABLE TO TAKE IT… DAMN YOU GOOGLE!!!

Hubby: Okay, it says it’s an allergy reaction and I should take some Benadryl.

What I said: Oh good, we have some in the bathroom.
What I was thinking: YOU FOOL IT’S NOT ALLERGIES!! IT’S A FREAKING TUMOR THE SIZE OF TEXAS!  OH GOD WHY, HE’S SO YOUNG AND I FINALLY GOT HIM TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN!

(45 minutes later)

Hubby: It doesn’t hurt anymore, wanna check how it looks?

What I said: Sure
What I was thinking: HE’S NOT FEELING ANY PAIN? OH GOD, HE’S NOT FEELING ANY PAIN!… THIS IS THE END!!!

What I said:… huh… it’s really gone down, still red but definitley improving.
What I was thinking: HE’S CURED… IT’S A MIRACLE!!!!!

About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger, Cat Slave, New Puppy Mommy, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to What I said… What I meant

  1. so very happy for your miraculous cure. Google instead of Lourdes. Who knew?

  2. hrockwel says:

    In the words of Arnold: “It’s not a tumor!” 😀

  3. Ashley says:

    Okay every time I see the title to this post I think. ” I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful 100%” there is your Dr. Suess for the day

  4. From in-grown nose hair to cancer of the nose in 60-seconds or less. Very impressive. Don’t despair, widow or not, you look great in black (what blonde doesn’t?). I’d be more worried about the obituary. “In lieu of flowers, send donations to the American Nose Cancer Society…”

  5. I thought I had malaria after I was bitten by a bug, and then came down with a fever the next day. Turns our I just picked up the flu from someone at work, but I was pretty convinced I was going to die.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s