So kickball season is about to start which means I spent my lunch break stocking up on Jell-O shot ingredients… It’s a Portland thing.
I went to the local Safeway to purchase my Jell-O flavors and I just gotta say I was extremely disappointed with their selection, especially since they’re located right next to a University. By law they should have an entire aisle dedicated to Jell-O’s amazing flavor selection, but no they had strawberry, lemon, and lime… LAME!
After making my purchases I headed to the liquor store down the street, thinking it would be an easy stop to purchase vodka for my strawberry Jell-O and tequila for my lime… YA I AM!!
Anywho, I entered the store and headed to the vodka section… good lord.
Fruit Punch Vodka
Whipped Vodka, so many whipped vodka flavors!
Clerk Dude: Can I help you with something?
Me: When did there get to be so many flavored vodkas?
Clerk Dude: Welcome to my Hell.
Me: I just need something for Kickball Jell-O Shots.
Clerk Dude: (not even hesitating) Gotchya, here you go.
He then placed the world’s largest container of vodka in front of me.
Me: Dude! (in shock)
Clerk Dude: $19
Me: DUDE! (in excitement)
Clerk Dude: Go big or go home.
I handed him my driver’s license and debit card.
Clerk Dude: HIGH-FIVE!
Never one to leave a Dude hanging; I jumped up and slapped his raised hand.
Clerk Dude: Way to NOT look your age girl!
Me: Oh thanks! The secret is not acting it.
Clerk Dude: Ha! With the backpack I thought you were some kid carrying home her books.
Me: Nope that’s for carrying my “purchases”, no brown paper bag for me, you know what people think of you when you walk out of a liquor store with a big brown bag!
At this Clerk Dude started busting up laughing… hard. Granted we had been having a pretty good word play going on but Dude, it wasn’t that funny. He then ducked behind the counter and came back up with a selection of bags.
Clerk Dude: They probably think something like this…
Just found my favorite liquor store in the world.