I went to a wine festival to buy bed sheets… of course I did.

(Disclaimer – yes I know my fonts are F’d up, but after an hour of trying to fix them I threw my arms up in the air, shouted some expletives, and hit the publish button… deal.)

Portland’s Spring Beer and Wine Fest was last weekend and, like the past three years, I was there to partake in some hard-core drinking tastings. However the minute I walked in, I knew something was different. 

Difference #1 – You have the option of picking from a beer tasting glass or a wine tasting glass when you enter BUT this year only wine could be poured in the wine glass, BUT both beer AND wine could be poured into the beer glass… WHAT THE HELL FESTIVAL PEOPLE!?!? How does that make any sense?!? Why don’t you just call it the Spring Beer OR Wine Fest!?!?

Difference #2 – There was a food court this year, which was BRILLIANT!  Cause we all seriously needed some food after a couple hours of drinking.

Hubby and I REALLY like wings

Difference #3 – There was a movie star there this year! Adrian whatshisname from Entourage. Ashley, Tracy, and I played it totally cool, until we got in an argument over how hairy he was and if it was sexy or not and then turned around to see him standing behind us, staring right at us, we instantly began giggling and ran away… see? totally played it cool.

SEE!?!? What's his name!!

Difference #4 – Vendors!  Now they usually have vendors selling wine/beer related items, but this year they went crazy. There was a dude there selling hats, and a weird guy selling sheets, and a lesbian selling pins, and a crazy lady selling sparkly costume jewelry, and an artsy dude  selling pictures of frogs in drinks.

This made no sense at first, but after a couple of hours of drinking we were like; OMG I totally need that hat and/or sequins hello kitty pin and/or picture of a frog roasting marshmallows over a flaming shot glass! Seriously, Ashley almost bought a satin top hat, sadly/luckily it was $85 and she wasn’t drunk enough to spend that much.  I however got past the Egyptian sheet dude’s weirdness (he offered to come to my house to install the sheets personally… dude) and purchased some 1,500 count sheets for $30… THEY WERE SO SOFT!!!. 

Difference #5 – Ashley got hit on… by the lesbian selling pins… and didn’t realize she was being hit on… so I helped… it was awesome… I’ll recap.

LSP – Your face is SO familiar, have we met before?

Ashley – No, I don’t think so.

LSP – Are you sure? I feel this connection to you.

Ashley – oh… um… no pretty sure we haven’t.

LSP – hhhmmmmm, I really feel like we know each other.

Ashley – …

Me – She’s a blogger! I can give you her contact information! And she’s single!!

Ashley – MONA! She doesn’t care about that stuff!

LSP – ooohhh, so you’re single?

Ashley – … we have to go.

Me (left) retelling the story to Tracy (middle) while Ashley (right) denies the entire thing

About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger,Dog Mom, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I went to a wine festival to buy bed sheets… of course I did.

  1. emma says:

    Portland is always amusing (weird, we say, right?). I might have to go next time just for the sheet dude!

  2. THEY ARE SSSSOOOO SOFT!!! I spent an hour last night just rolling around and around the bed screaming OOOOHHHH YYYYYAAAAAAA! Hubby came in and told me to knock it off as the neighbors were starting to pound the walls… obviously jealous of my awesome sheets 😉

  3. I’d forgot how much I relate to most of the shit you post. Trying to get my blogging legs back after a bit of an emotional hiatus, thought I’d stopped by, and as usual am not disappointed. This is sooo me when I’ve had cocktails. It’s like my discretion button stops working. Drunk-calling (It seems like a good idea at the time to call people, some that I haven’t spoken to in eons, and slur into the phone for hours while they groan), Ebay shopping (buying things that look so cool under the fog of alcohol, only to realize later that I did indeed press the ‘confirm purchase’, it was already taken out of my account, and omg…the butt-ugliest piece of clothing I’ve ever seen is now on it’s way to my home!), and last but not least, throwing friends under the bus to get a giggle (good thing I have friends with a sense of humor). I’ve decided though that the pound of misery it can sometimes cause is more than worth the rush, so I continue to indulge. So glad you had fun and shared it. I needed a good laugh today. 🙂

  4. YAY! Glad to see you back! MISSED YOU!!

  5. Aisha Neiswoger says:

    Bed sheets that are made from cotton are always nice since they feel great on the skin and on the body. ;,”:.

    Most up to date blog post straight from our website

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.