After having another amazing outing with the ladies, I arrived home ready to put my oh so sexy/clumsy moves on Hubby… but he wasn’t home… so I put my moves on the couch, switched on the tv, and grabbed some chocolate ice cream.

However my ice cream/couch/tv night of magic was interrupted by a phone call from Hubby:

Hubby: Babe! Where are you?

Me: At home, where are you?

Hubby: Parked outside.

Me: YAY! Well get up here, I’m feeling lucky and I’ve already had my way with the last of the ice cream.

Hubby: No, I need you to come down to the car.

Me: Oh kinky, I like it!

Hubby: Mona focus! I need you to get the insurance card out of my bag and bring it down to me.

Me: … huh?

Hubby: *sigh* I’ve been pulled over and I can’t find the insurance card in the car.

Me: … huh?

Hubby: *double sigh* (seriously, he did the double sigh, it’s not easy but since being married to me for 11 years he’s perfected it). Look out the window.

Me: Oh my god! Babe, there’s a cop car parked behind you with his lights on!!

Hubby:… I know… Mona. Insurance Card. Now.

Me: On it!

I quickly found Hubby’s bag and tore it apart looking for the insurance card. FOUND IT… except I noticed that the last date for insurance coverage was showing as today… and it was 11:54 p.m.

SHIT!

I ran over to our bin of forgotten mail and quickly started sorting through the pile:

Visa bill… crap
Cable bill… crap, crap
Costco coupons… oohhh sale on 20 gallons of bbq sauce.
Letter from my mom… Hey! When did we get this? Oh she included a picture of her garden, that’s coming along nicely and it looks like dad got the new fence up… MONA FOCUS!
Packet from Insurance Company… YES! New Cards!

I booked it downstairs and ran out to Hubby, who was still sitting in the car.

Me: BABE! I got it!!!

Hubby: Finally!

Me: … but it expires in like a minute.

Hubby: Shit!

Me: BUT I found the new card!

Hubby: … you could have led with that.  Well, go give it to him.

Me: Okay!

I turned to run over to the cop car and noticed that he was looking over at his computer screen and hadn’t noticed me yet.

Hubby: What are you waiting for?

Me: For him to see me.

Hubby: Just go over to his window and hand it to him.

Me: Are you crazy!? You don’t startle a man who’s carrying a gun!

Hubby: … Babe.

Me: Don’t babe me, I’m not getting shot for your bad driving!

Hubby: Just go, it’s not like you have a gun!

Me: Sssshhhhhhhhhh! DUDE!! I Can’t Believe You Just Said That!!! You DO NOT joke about having a gun around a cop!! It’s like yelling BOMB at an airport!! Oh great, now he’s looking at me! Probably has his hand on his pistol.

Hubby: Great, now you can give him the insurance.

I slowly inched my way over to the cop car.

Me: Officer Sir, I’m going to hand you our insurance card. But it may have just expired like 10 seconds ago, so I’m also going to hand you our new card.

Officer Sir: … okay… ma’am… you can put your arms down.

Me: oh… right… ha ha ha sorry, here you go.

Officer Sir: Thank you ma’am.

Me: Wow, you’re like really polite. I mean I’m sure you have to be, cause you’re a cop, and they probably train you and stuff, but it really comes across as genuine.

Officer Sir… thank you ma’am.

I looked over at Hubby and gave him two thumbs up. He just glared at me and pointed back to the apartment. I stuck my tongue out at him, slightly bowed to Officer Sir, and then carefully walked back to our apartment… backwards.

Epilogue: So Hubby got lucky and didn’t get a ticket.  I, however, did not get lucky, as per Hubby, I was “ridiculous”… he’s so on his own the next time he gets pulled over right outside our apartment and needs the insurance card… cause it’s not in the car anymore 😉