Well the inevitable has happened, I’ve been picked for Jury Duty. THIS IS OUTRAGIOUS! I had a 5 year streak going of not receiving a jury duty notice. I actually believed someone had dropped my file behind a filing cabinet where I was now safe from selection… Hubby says they haven’t used file cabinets since the 80’s… WHATEVER! Doesn’t anyone have ANY respect for a streak?!
Well since it’s been so long since the last time I was called up to the big house… Hubby says big house is jail and that I mean court house… okay, just finished throwing all inanimate objects within arm’s reach at Hubby to get him away from reading over my shoulder, let’s continue.
SINCE it’s been so long since my last duty, and I wasn’t even called to be on a jury, I decided to check online to see exactly what would be expected of me as a juror.
A Juror must be prompt… fuck.
A Juror must give his/her undivided attention to the trail… DUDE! I don’t even give my gynecologist my undivided attention and if you’re going to give someone your undivided attention, it should be the person sticking a large metal instrument up your woowoo… tmi?
A Juror must not research the case… BUT I ❤ GOOGLE!!
A Juror must not discuss the case with anyone… but, but, but, I blog… all aspects of the case are private… Dude, I blogged about my first Brazilian wax, NOTHING IS PRIVATE!!!
A Juror must not conduct independent investigations or experiments to verify testimony given in the case… LIES! They do it all the time on TV and in movies, who wrote these rules!? They obviously know NOTHING about the real world.
A Juror must be impartial until he/she hears all the evidence and law applicable to the case. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… sorry… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hubby’s back and just said he’s not paying for my bond when I get put in jail for contempt… I’m not in contempt, they’re in contempt, THIS WHOLE COURT ROOM IS IN CONTEMPT!!!!
Okay, I’m actually looking forward to this.