Ashley, Tracy, and I just had a long email discussion that started with Google and ended with the GREATEST SHOW OF FRIENDSHIP EVER!!
Me: I know you both know this, but… DO NOT GOOGLE SEARCH WEIRD MEDICAL SYMPTOMS YOUR ARE HAVING!!!! Google had me believing I was dying of this crazy new untreatable disease… instead it ends up I have a sunburn on the top off my head…
Tracy: OMG NO! You don’t do that, everything ends in Cancer!!
Me: I Know! And I had all the symptoms, unexplainable depression, short attention span, itching!
Ashley: Was one of the symptoms not being able to remember people’s names?
Me: YES! Short Term Memory Loss!
Ashley: Oh My God YOU’RE DYING!!
Me: Shut up, it’s a sunburn! STOP FREAKING ME OUT!
Ashley: I just Googled my symptoms I’ve been having from this diet… and I’m dying.
Ashley: Will you promise me that you will throw yourself on my casket and scream NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!??
Me: I would… but I’ll probably already be dead by then from my rare head cancer.
Ashley: Tracy! Will you promise to throw yourself on BOTH of our caskets and scream NNNOOOOOO!!! Maybe add “They were so young… and beautiful… and funny damn it!!!”.
Me: AND say something like “Now that they’re gone, it feels like all the sunlight and joy have been sucked out, leaving only a cold, sad, empty world.”?
Ashley: Oh ya that’s good. And maybe blurt out the word sparkle somewhere in there!
Me: Nice! Tracy are you taking notes? I feel like you should be taking notes.
Tracy: … I will THROW my body over both caskets, screaming NNNNOOOOOOO, cursing at God for taking away SUCH beauty SO young, and swear off all happiness and joy because your deaths were BULLSHIT… then I would sprinkle glitter all over the caskets.
Me: *sniff* that’s so beautiful.
Ashley: and that right there is why we are friends!