I blame my death on Mad Eye Pete!… and syphilis…

So Tracy, Tricia and I threw pretty much the most diabolical awesomely evil surprise birthday party for Ashley last weekend… But that’s for another blog. 

Don’t freak, I know I say that and then never blog about it again, but I swear on deep fried Twinkies that I will blog about that amazingballs party… later… maybe… someday… possibly.

Anywho, on the way to the surprise birthday party of evil awesomeness; Ashley, Tracy, Tricia, and I had to take a 3 hour car trip along the coast, where we passed through Wheeler, Oregon… where I died of syphilis…kind of… not really… let me explain.

Me: We are now driving through Wheeler… wow I just got this sudden urge to yell “WHEELER INDIANA!”

Tracy: We’re in Oregon Mona.

Me: I know but I have this need to yell “WHEELER INDIANA!” and with a western drawl too.

Tricia: Have you ever been to Indiana?

Me: No, never. I don’t even know if there’s acutally a Wheeler, Indiana…

Me, Tracy, Tricia: TO THE GOOGLE!!!

Me: Holy Shit, there’s really a Wheeler, Indiana! Dude, that’s creepy.

Tricia: OH! Maybe you were the mayor of Wheeler, Indiana, like in a past life!

Me: Nice!

Tracy: No, it says here that Wheeler, Indiana is an unincorporated community.

Me: …

Tricia: …

Tracy: *sigh* American education at its best, an unincorporated community means it doesn’t have its own government.

Me: …

Tricia: …

Tracy: … you guys are killing me. That means NO MAYOR!

Me: OH!

Tricia: Well that’s disappointing.

Tracy: Nope, no mayor, just a county sheriff.

Tricia: OH Mona! I bet you were the Sheriff!!

Me: NICE!

Tricia: But like back in the old west times.

Tracy: And you were probably really gruff on the outside, but a total softy on the inside.

Me: That sounds like me.

Tricia: And you had a big mustache which was your pride and joy… AND IT CURLED AT THE ENDS!

Me: *GASP* LOVE IT!

Tracy: Ya, but you probably used your own ear wax to make it curl.

Me: Gross.

Tricia: AND you were sweet on Miss. Kitty… who ran the local brothel… that you visited… like a lot.

Me: … oh…

Tricia: Which is how you got syphilis…

Me: DUDE!

Tracy: Oh, is that how she died?

Tricia: No, she got shot in a quick draw match with Mad Eye Pete.

Me: Okay there’s no way I got beat in a quick draw by a guy with one eye!

Tricia: Not One Eye Pete, MAD Eye Pete… and the effects of the syphilis probably slowed you down.

Tracy: That’s so sad, poor syphilis Sheriff Mona.

Me: I DID NOT DIE OF SYPHILIS!!!!

Tricia: No honey, you died after getting shot by Mad Eye Pete… try to keep up.

Ashley: Can we PLEASE talk about my birthday surprise now!?!?

To be continued…
possibly…
maybe…
just don’t hold your breath…
although you never know…
could happen…
but probably not…


About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger, Cat Slave, New Puppy Mommy, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to I blame my death on Mad Eye Pete!… and syphilis…

  1. hrockwel says:

    Hah! You never fail to make me laugh. I think you need to write for a comedy show. Not kidding!

  2. Pingback: Individual Frozen Pizzas from Scratch | Scratch It

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