Aaahhhhh Yes, I’ve Always Been This Funny

So my parents are retiring to the country and are clearing out some of the “clutter” in their life. And apparently my GENIUS is considered clutter.

My mother sent me a box of random Mona things. It contained old yearbooks, childhood drawings, report cards, a framed photo of me with a mullet… thanks for allowing that to happen mom… and a folder full of emails I had sent my parents while at college.

They. Are. Brilliant!

The one below was sent to my parents after I had forgotten to call them for a couple of weeks. My mother had finally called me and asked if I was alive, I answered yes, she replied “good” and to check my email, and then hung up on me.

Hostile party of one?

So I checked my email and read a letter from my mother stating how I must be dead as her daughter would never ignore her parents for so long… below was my reply.

Subject: Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated
Date: Mon, 30 Nov 1998 20:37:47 PST
From: Mona
To: Parents

Dear Ma and Pa, (not sure why I called them that as I have NEVER called my parents ma and pa… but hey, maybe I was being whimsical.)

I am alive!!!!! I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write back to you, but you would NOT believe what I’ve been through.

First, I got abducted by aliens on my way home from work. Luckly, Mulder and Scully came to my rescue before I got probed. (This was the 90’s people, The X-files were HUGE at this time). Although it took me a while to convince Mulder that he had to stop hitting on me and No, I would not spend the rest of my life lying on the beach and sipping margaritas with him.

But, unfortunately, on my way home from that, I was kidnapped by circus freaks and forced to join their show. My act was walking on the high wire, above a tank full of blood thirsty sharks, while reciting the alphabet backwards. Dude, that’s hard. I finally escaped after gaining the trust of Bertha the bearded woman.

Just when I thought I was going to make it home, and be able to e-mail my loving parents, I got pulled over by a State Trooper. He claimed that I matched the description of a woman who had been holding up 7-11 stores all over Washington and cleaning them out of Ding Dongs.  The Trooper described the woman as tall, thin, blonde, and having stong resemblence to Meg Ryan… I confessed.

Sadly, I was soon released and given a stern lecture by the police for impersonating a crook. But hey, I was thought to be a Meg Ryan look alike for 45 minutes and those are minutes I will never give back.

So I FINALLY made it back home and right when I walked through the door, wouldn’t you know it, but my dear ma calls simply stating to check my e-mail and then hanging up before I can tell her of my great adventure.

So… here I am…. letting you know I’m okay and thanks for worrying. But a little sympathy would be nice next time.

Much, much love your adventures daughter,
Mona

About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger, Cat Slave, New Puppy Mommy, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
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