Hubby: What’s that?
Me: Dude, I have like a million things in front of me, so you’re really gonna need to narrow that down.
Hubby: What you just pulled out of the grocery bag.
Me: An umbrella?
Hubby: You bought ANOTHER umbrella!?
Me: What!?! I needed a new one.
Hubby: What happened to the big green and white one?
Me: Left it at the park.
Hubby: The black one with the curved handle?
Me: Fat guy sat on it on the bus.
Hubby: The little pink one?
Me: I sat on it… Shut up.
Hubby: The one with the bird on it?
Me: Okay, I know you’re not gonna believe this… but… it kinda flew away…
Hubby: The Nasa designed, arrow dynamical, tested in a wind turbine, indestructible umbrella!
Me: Left it on the bus.
Hubby: GAH! That’s it, NO more umbrellas for you!
Me: We live in Portland, Oregon! It’s a necessity!
Hubby: NO! You are not allowed to buy anymore umbrellas!
Me: OH, I can’t believe you just said that! I am SO going to Beyoncé your ass!
Hubby: … What does that even mean!?!
Me: you’ll see.
If anyone in the Portland area knows where I can purchase a 5 foot tall metal chicken, PLEASE contact me!