So during our last kickball game Hubby, Ashley, and I got in an argument regarding how the “bases” are assigned.

Ashley: HA HA I just realized that last runner got on second base twice! Once when he made it to the base and a second time when he ran into me and touched my boob!

Me: No, boob touching is first base.

Ashley: Oh honey, you’ve been married too long, you don’t know the bases.

Me: NuuUuuu!

Ashley: UuuHuuu!

Hubby: Here, I’ll Google it… Okay, first base is kissing, second base is visual/contact above the waist, third base is visual/contact below the waist, and home base is sex… winkey smiley face.

Me: Really?… winkey smiley face?

Hubby: Seriously, that’s what it says “sex ;)”

Ashley: Told you! Second base is boob touching.

Hubby: Well it’s different in Alaska.

Me: The bases or the winkey smiley face?

Hubby: Both, but most important is we have a first base coach.

Me: Why?

Hubby: To wave you off incase the girl you’re with is actually your cousin.

Me & Ashley: EYW!!!!

Hubby: What!?! I grew up in a small town!

Me: Oh honey, stop talking, you’re not helping your argument.