Okay the title totally gives away the punch line of the story of my stupidity, but I don’t care, cause it’s funny.
So story time, Orko is the first puppy I’ve ever owned. So I’m constantly learning knew things about him.
1. Puppy’s LOVE peanut butter
2. Puppy’s are scared easily by loud noises
3. Puppy’s bolt when scared by loud noises
4. Puppy’s leash should be held tightly when walking outside where puppy can hear loud noises.
5. Puppy has a penis…
Okay now I thought I had known #5 already… but no… no I hadn’t.
Let me explain, if you’ve never had a boy dog this will all be new information to you and you will totally understand my confusion. If you have had a boy dog, then, well, just shut up and stop laughing.
So last week I was giving Orko a belly rub. Orko LOVES belly rubs, almost more then he loves peanut butter. Trust me that’s saying something. This is a dog that took out 2 grown adults with his leash while attempting to get to a spoon of peanut butter I had accidentally dropped in the kitchen… but I digress.
SO, me. Orko. Belly Rub. and then “it” happened.
I caught a glimpse of something bright red down by his wee wee and I instantly thought he’d hurt himself and was bleeding… Shut up dog owners.
SO I pin him down on his back and quickly start brushing away the fur down by his wee wee to see what was so red… well that just made more red appear… seriously stop laughing.
I am now freaking out and scream for Hubby to come because my new puppy is seriously wounded. He ran over, looked, closed his eyes, and sighed…
Hubby: “Babe, stop giving the puppy a hand job.”
Me: STOP JOKING HE’S WOUNDED!!!
Hubby:… no he’s not.
Me: THEN WHY IS RED COMING OUT OF HIM?!?!?!?
Hubby:… that’s his penis…
Me:… no it’s not…
Hubby: ya, ya it is.
Me: But that’s his penis *gesturing to faux penis*
Hubby: No that’s the prepuce, the sheath of skin that covers the penis. The red you are seeing is his penis sticking out.
Me:… oh… I’m gonna go wash my hands.
Hubby: That’s a good idea.