Someone needs to invent a car horn that will honk with the same emotion that you are feeling when you press it.

And I don’t mean one of those novelty horns that you can attach to your car that honks sounds like “AWUUUGAH AWUUUGAH”  or “DENENENENEDENENENENENEEEEE”… that was the General Lee by the way…

No, I’m talking about your car’s normal horn sound, but with a slight attitude adjustment.

Example:
I was driving down the road today and saw a frantic soccer mom trying to turn into traffic.  I can see that there is a huge line of cars behind me and the chance of her getting in my lane, this year, are slim to nill. It also looks like she has about fifty kids in the back of her van doing that Harlem Shake thing… see I’m hip… shut up.

ANYWHO, being the sweet kind person I am, I slow down, and beep my horn. Well my horn makes this  annoying wailing baby seal being beaten noise and the soccer mom quickly stops trying to merge into traffic and gives me the finger!… and monkey see monkey do, the entire Harlem Shake crew stops what they are doing and simultaneously flip me the bird…

DUDE! I was trying to be nice, but the harsh sound of my horn came off as, “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE PULL YOUR MINI VAN OF HELL IN FRONT OF ME!!!”, when I really ment, “GO GO GO SAVE YOURSELF, I’M GIVING YOU AN OPENING, TAKE IT!!!”

So all you brilliant Nobel Prize winning scientist out there who read my blog, please stop you current projects and work on this problem immediately!

Sincerely,
Mona