I was walking my fantastic dog Orko early this morning and was not quite awake, this is why I didn’t see the other lady walking her dog, until Orko had jumped up and planted both paws right into her boobs…

Me: Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!! We’re working on not jumping, wow he got you right in the boobage, I am really sorry!!

She gave a grimace smile and said:

“Yes, well some dogs aren’t smart enough to be trained.”

I proceeded to take off my earings and said:

“… scuse me?”

She smiled and leaned down to pick up her poodle whom Orko was attempting to give a colonoscopy to with his nose.

Boob Lady: Nothing personal, just some dogs have a hard time learning basic commands. My Hammish, of course, is not one of them.

Me:… Really? Okro. Sit

He sat

Me: … lay down

He laid down

Me: … bang

He rolled over onto his back, threw both paws over his eyes, and howled.

Me:… have a nice day.

And we walked away. Beat that Hammish.

Seriously people, he can do it. Bet you thought I made that up… where’s the trust?!?