So my friend Ashley just posted something horrifying on Facebook:

Ashley: I just saw Joss fucking Whedon walking downtown Portland. It was literally all I could do not to attack him and request a picture!

Me: … you didn’t… WHO ARE YOU!?!?

Me: SERIOUSLY!?!?!??!?!?!

Me: WHO ARE YOU!?!?!?!?!

Ashley: He was on the phone, that’s the only thing that stopped me!

Me: HE COULD HAVE BEEN TALKING TO NATHAN FILLION!!!!!!!!!

Ashley: I did do the double take… the holy crap… Hand up but your on the phone… walk away.

Me: … dude… just… dude…

Ashley: Don’t judge me!!! I wasn’t gonna be that fan!

Me: Fake fall… FAKE FALL!!!!! We’ve all seen your shoes, it would have been totally believable!

Me: If I had been there I would have pushed you… that’s just the kind of friend I am.

Ashley: And that kids is how your aunt Mona broke my leg to meet Joss Whedon.

Me: Kids, your aunt Ashley grossly over exaggerates, and it was also to talk to Nathan Fillion.

Ashley: Your kids would never believe that I over exaggerate!

Me: My kids would make it a point to never be in the same room with me and you when we were together reminiscing about that time I almost killed you to meet Joss Whedon and talk to Nathan Fillion.

Ashley:… true… your future kids are kinda dicks.

Me: Word, I might just not have them, to teach them a lesson.