I was at a “girls meeting girls for friendship and getting wasted” meetup happy hour… WHAT!?!? That’s how I meet new friends!! Anywho, I noticed the woman next to me had the longest lashes I had ever seen!
I leaned in to see if they were those press on lashes, I only attempt to wear those during Halloween… but I didn’t see any black strip on the top of her eyelid… so I leaned in more… must be individual press on lashes… but they looked like they were coming from her skin… so I leaned in more… by now I’m within inches from Lash Lady’s face… and she had noticed…
Lash Lady: … Hi
Me: Your lashes are CRAZY long!
Lash Lady: Thanks!
Me: AND SO FULL! ARE THEY REAL!?!?
Yes I was yelling, it wasn’t my fault, I was 3 martinis in… martinis are my kryptonite.
Lash Lady: Fake
Lash Lady: Honestly, they’re totally fake!
Eavesdropping Lady: They look so real!!! Can I touch them!?
Lash Lady: … uh sure.
And then Eavesdropping Lady grabbed Lash Lady’s boobs…
Obviously Eavesdropping Lady had eavesdropped late in Lash Lady and my conversation. But like a champ Lash Lady didn’t even bat an eyelash… HAHAHAHAHAHA! That was awesome, I didn’t even mean to be punny!!
After an awkward pause while Eavesdropping Lady went to town feeling Lash Lady up, I finally said, “Yes, your LASHES look so REAL I can’t believe THEY are FAKE…”.
Eavesdropping Lady had the decency to look a little embarrassed and finally stopped her attempt to round second and head for third base with Lash Lady and then turned back to the group of girls at her table… Who didn’t look that surprised that their friend had just sexually assaulted the woman sitting next to them… well every group has one… I can only pray I’m not my groups…
So Lash Lady and I got talking and she ended up telling me that she was a beautician and she would be happy to give me an in house beauty day, lash extensions, brow waxing, and hair highlights, all at an amazing low price… this is something I would have probably backed out of… but dude… I was on kryptonite number 4 by then… so…
BAM! Look at those lashes, and brows, and hair, AND LASHES!!!