Hubby hates tax time, like every other American… (sad side note, I was gonna put “Hubby hates tax time like everyone in the world”, but then I wasn’t sure if other countries have taxes, but then I was like of course they do, but then I was like are you sure, and then I was like NO I’m not sure!… so I substituted with American… and then I felt I had to explain why… so there you go… what was I saying?… OH YA!)
Hubby hates tax time, but not for the reasons that you would think. It’s not the time it takes to find all the required paperwork, or the agonizing “helpful instructions” included with the forms, or the obscene amount we owe at the end. NOPE!
Hubby hates tax time because each year, even when he begs me not to, I help!
This year’s taxes were especially fun since we moved from Oregon to Arizona for his job, so we get to write off moving expenses, and I put myself in charge of going through the pile of receipts to decide which ones should be included as a moving expense.
Hubby: What’s that for?
Me: The children’s dramamine I bought to nock out CIA Cat on the drive down.
Hubby: We can’t list that, I told you it’s only things that we used for the move.
Me: We did use it, that stuff nocked her out cold! She was out for almost 2 days, at one point I thought we’d killed her.
Hubby: There is no WE in this conversation! You’re the one who gave her the pill.
Me: It had been 3 hours of constant MEOW MEOW MEOW in the car, I was losing my freaking mind! You had it on easy street with Orko in the moving truck!!
Hubby: Whatever, I’m not including it in the list of expenses, next receipt.
Me: Fine, $68.52.
Me: No, Red Bull.
Hubby: You drank almost seventy dollars in Red Bulls on the drive down to Arizona!?
Me: Don’t be silly, that was just for getting through Oregon.
Hubby: This explains so many of the calls I got from you on the road. We’re not expensing Red Bull. Dammit Mona, give me only things that were used in the move!!!
Me: Take only what you need to survive! Industrial strength hair dryer… AND I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!!
Me: Really!? When they’re in the desert and he’s caring her luggage!?!?!
Me: COME ON! IT’S A CLASSIC!!!
Hubby: I think we should just take all this to an accountant.
Me: So we don’t get audited?… again?
Hubby: No, so I don’t divorce you.
Me: Good plan!