Well it’s done! I had my MOHs surgery and all the cancer is gone from my nose!! For those of you that don’t know, M.O.H.s stands for MOTHERFUCKER WHAT THE FUCKING HELL HAPPENED TO MY NOSE!?!?!… or something like that.
As I’d stated in past posts, skin cancer is SO low in the Cancer Family Tree of Horribleness, that when my tests came back positive, I had no plan on dwelling on my misfortune and was just gonna pull up my big girl panties and deal.
And that’s what I did, even after the first test slice came back positive for cancer, and then the second slice, and then the third, and the fourth. By the fifth slice I was the only person left in a testing waiting room, which had been packed to the rafters when this all started.
P.S. I was easily 20 years younger then everyone in that waiting room… Skin Care FAIL.
But FINALLY at the fifth slice my results came back clear of Cancer! I was thrilled, so were Amy, Jen, and Nicole… I really got to know my cancer testing crew. They crowded around me giving high fives and doing our victory cancer free dance that Amy and I had choreographed out during the wait… you don’t understand… I get bored easily… and I HAD BEEN THERE 7 HOURS!!!
With the celebration dying down I ran over to a side mirror and pulled back the bandage to see the final results… I should have realized this was a mistake, by the way Jen jumped towards me in an attempt to stop me from getting to the mirror, and the horrified gasp Amy let out.
… Holy… Fuck… the tip of my nose was gone.
Now I know I had said that “fuck it, it’s just skin cancer and what ever happens happens”… but dude… THE TIP OF MY FUCKING NOSE WAS GONE!
I decided right there and then to allow my self a little pity party, and completely broke down in tears. Amy and Nicole were quick to join in, they’re sympathetic cries… not really the best people to have at a cancer office.
But seeing them crying made me start laughing and then I snorted and that totally cracked them up and then Amy snorted and by the time the doctor came in to discuss plastic surgery options we were completely out of control, seriously, I think Nicole may have wet herself.
So to recap, Cancer is gone! YAY! Nose is not looking that great. BOO! But plastic surgery consultation is next week with surgery to follow. YAY!
Thanks to all of you who sent me warm wishes and kind thoughts. You’re all fucking fantastic!!