SO, a girl I work with was in a fender bender yesterday, and today, everyone was sharing car accident stories with her to make her feel better.  After I finished telling my horribly sad story, everyone was laughing… bastards… here’s the story.

Emmy was beautiful.

She was green and sparkly with tan leather interior and shiny rims. Her full name was Emerald Pretty Pretty BMW Baby, but for short we called her Emmy… well technically I was the only one who called her that. Hubby refused to call her by either name and only referred to her as “the car”… bastard.

So Emmy, Hubby, and I were driving on a side street when a woman 2 cars in front of us decided she HAD to have the parking spot she just PASSED and hit her brakes, causing the car behind her to hit its brakes, and the car behind them to hit there brakes, and hence me to hit Emmy’s breaks… and we all stopped… and everything was fine.

I started to tell Hubby that was close when I heard brakes of a really really big vehicle locking up behind us… and…. BAM SMASH HOLY SHIT AAAAHHHH EMMY NOOOOOOOO!!

It was a garbage truck… a garbage truck had just violently assaulted my Emerald Pretty Pretty BMW Baby… violently assaulted.

Hubby: DAMMIT! Are you okay?

Before waiting for my reply he jumped out of Emmy and ran to check on the woman in front of us who I had BARELY bumped into, leaving me behind. I was sitting frozen in my seat slowly coming to the realization that… I was blind!

Me: I’M BLIND!!!!!

Garbage Guy getting out of truck: OH MY GOD!

Hubby: WHAT!?!?… it’s your hair you spaz, push your hair out of your face!!

Me: … I CAN SEE!!!!

Hubby then had to go over and check on Garbage Guy who had slumped to the ground after my blindness scare… he was fine… bastard.

In the end Emmy was declared totaled by my insurance company, an insurance company that I quickly dropped after the accident.  Not because our policy increased, but because when I called to report the accident the insurance agent asked what damage had been done to the vehicle that hit us and I said “The garbage truck? I think his license plate may have fallen off.” … and the agent laughed… he laughed… HE LAUGHED REGARDING A DEATH IN OUR FAMILY!… bastard.

This is what I see when ever I pass a garbage truck… although maybe without the eyes… that would just be creepy… bastard.