I tried to cook and ended up passing out, BUT NOTHING WAS SET ON FIRE!

So against my Hubby’s wishes, I cooked this weekend!  Granted there has been one or two slight mishaps during my last culinary explorations, I believe we all remember the great turkey fire of ’13.

But my favorite little lady, and cook extraordinaire, Tracy posted this AMAZING recipe for Guinness candied bacon on her blog scratichitcook.com. And seeing how the main recipes included everything I like, Bacon, Alcohol, and Sugar. I decided to give it a try,  I mean it only involved 3 ingredients, how hard could it be?!

What follows are the texts that I sent to her as the disaster began unfolding…

WTF! I’m having some serious issues with this bacon recipe!!

First off the only brown sugar options at the grocery store was light or dark… your recipe calls for just brown sugar… APPARENTLY THAT DOESN’T EGSIST!!…  WHICH SHOULD I BUY!?!?!

I went with dark

photo 2 (11)

I only use 1/4 cup of Guinness?? WHAT DO I DO WITH THE REST?!?! it seems so wasteful… 

It’s 9:00am here… what time does that make it in Ireland?

Never mind, I figured it out.

photo 4 (4)

What kind of description is “frothy”… is this frothy!?!?!

photo 3 (5)

What the hell is a baking rack?? Can I  just use my rack in the oven??… that seems messy.

Never mind, I MacGyvered a turkey rack thing…

photo 1 (12)

Okay this thing only fits 2 slices… this is gonna take a while to cook a pound of bacon.

photo 5 (3)

PS I’m spooning the bacon… HAHAHAHAHAHA, I mean instead of “brushing it” like you put in the recipe… I may be on my 2nd Guinness…

OMG!!! 10 minutes on each side is taking FOREVER!!! I’m on my 4th turn with the same first 2 bacon slices!!!

OKAY on my 3rd Guinness and the first two slices are done!

30 MINUTES TO AN HOUR FOR THE BACON TO COOL!! How hot is this bacon, like the center of the earth got??!!?? I’m so hunngy… and drank

(30 minutes later)

Oh Sweet Baby Jane, that’s good

And it was good, like really freaking good, Hubby said it tasted like fancy restaurant bacon! Tracy replied later that day, apparently she had been hiking during my complete text melt down. However, I didn’t get to read her reply until later that night, as I was passed out on the couch full of amazingly yummy bacon and a whole lot of Guinness. But hers was a simple reply…

I freaking love you

About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger, Cat Slave, New Puppy Mommy, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I tried to cook and ended up passing out, BUT NOTHING WAS SET ON FIRE!

  1. nakularora says:

    Haha… This reminded me of my first cooking experience.. I ended up burning the rice… 🙂

  2. Tracy says:

    Hahahaha! I sooo freaking love you!!!

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