Classic Sunday afternoon with the entire family sprawled out on the couch. Hubby playing x-box, me with my book, and Orko and CIA Cat fighting over the prime spot between the both of us.

Me: hhmmmm

Hubby: what?

Me: So in this book this guy is explaining to the girl how he makes the amore time last longer by thinking about either his mother naked… or dead puppies.

Hubby: ya

Me: YA!?!? OH MY GOD!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK OF????

Hubby: What?? NO!! I was just letting you know that I was listening to you!

Me: I mean your mother naked!?!? That should totally ruin the mood, not help extend it, that’s like some serious Freud shit!! AND DEAD PUPPIES!?!? What sick fuck thinks that and still wants to get it on!?!?!?!?

Hubby: AGAIN! I was just “yaing” to let you know I was LISTENING!!!

Me: Well next time just a simple, “Yes, I hear you sweetheart, that’s fucked up as hell”. Would be an appropriate response.

Hubby: Ya know that’s going to be my reply for everything now.

Me: ANYWHO! The reason I told you was because I was thinking why think horrible things? Why not think something that will temporarily take your mind of.. that… why not thinking about installing spark plugs?

Hubby: Wouldn’t work, you’re putting something that looks like a penis into a hole.

Me:… oh… ya… you’re right.  Okay, how about installing a carburetor?

Hubby: No good, lots of fitting slots into holes and moving it up and down to make sure it fits right, up and down, over and over.

Me: … wow… I had no idea how sexual it is to work on an engine… this really explains why so many men spend their weekends in their garages working on their cars…

Hubby: Yes, I hear you sweetheart, that’s fucked up as hell.

Me:…