So Hubby and I are leaving our 2 bedroom condo and moving into a 3 bedroom townhouse as, *dramatic pause*, my mother-in-law is moving in with us. Duh Duh DUUUUHHHHH!
It’s okay, I’ve come to grasps with it and am naively looking forward to it…
Anywho, Me, Hubby, Orko, and CIA Cat had to vacate our condo for an hour while it was being toured by potential renters. So we packed up CIA Cat in her carrier, put her in the back seat with Orko, and off we went to drive around the neighborhood until we get the all clear call from the realtor.
Hubby: Do you think they’re going through our drawers?
Me: Why? Why would they do that?
Hubby: I don’t know, some people get snoopy during these tours.
Me: We didn’t open people’s drawers when we were looking at townhomes!
Hubby: Well ya, but we’re normal.
Me:…
Hubby: Mostly normal, I’m just… UUGGGHHHH WHAT IS THAT SMELL!?
Hubby and I look into the back seat, Orko had pushed himself into the farthest corner of the back seat and was looking at us with a look that said, “IT WASN’T ME!”. We all then looked over at CIA Cat’s carrier and see her pinched concentrated face looking back at us.
Me: Oh God, she’s pooping!!
Hubby: Wow, that is lethal!
We quickly rolled down our windows and stuck out our heads, Orko let out a sharp bark and we rolled his window down too. He then proceeded to push his body so far out the window, that I was concerned he was going to just vault out to get away from CIA Cat’s bomb. I leaned across her carrier and held on to Orko’s harness to keep him in the car.
Me: Pull over! We need to evacuate!!
Hubby: Hold on, I’m heading for an exit!
CIA Cat: HURGH HURGH HURGH
Me: OH MY GOD! SHE’S GONNA THROW UP!!!
Hubby: Do you blame her? She stuck in a box with that!
CIA Cat: BLARCK!!
Me: OH GOD!! SHE SHOT IT OUT LIKE A FOUNTAIN, IT’S EVERYWHERE!!! IT’S ON ME!!! IT’S ON ME!!!!
Hubby: GET BACK TO THE FRONT SEAT!!!
Me: I CAN’T!! ORKO IS TRYING TO BAIL OUT THE WINDOW, I CAN’T LET GO OF HIM!!!
Hubby finally pulled the car over at the next exit and we all fell out of the disaster zone that was our car… leaving CIA Cat.
Me: I feel like this is animal abuse.
Hubby: Are you kidding?! We’ve just been abused! Besides we still have to clean her off when we get home.
Me: I say we just hose it down.
Hubby: The crate?
Me: The crate with CIA Cat still in it.
Hubby: Okay pretty sure THAT is animal abuse.
We didn’t do that, we let her out before hosing her down, she still gives us the cat finger every time we walk by her.
I’m really sorry but I laughed so much at this! I used to have a cat that randomly exploded whenever we had guests or when I was trying to find the bathroom in the dark – she had a problem with the valve in her throat. The Bloke has been woken up many times by me yelling ‘oh for f**ks sake!’ In the middle of the night after discovering yet another pile of vomit with my foot. Nice.
Ok, that was snort worthy.
Inhaled my coffee reading this, that was excellent!
My cat used to take a dump every time we took him in the car in the cat carrier. He used to make this really low howly/growl noise too.
I tried to keep all sharp instruments away from him on the days following these trips…
Omg could barely finish reading laughing too hard…
We found out too late that RC Cat did not approve of being shoved suddenly into her crate and tossed in the backseat while we escaped from potential buyers wanting to see the house. Before she would be happy to ride on lap or shoulder if going to visit family – even on a long ride. But after multiple abrupt shoves into the crate, she started letting loose. Evacuate is the right word.
We perfected a technique of grabbing her and washing off her rear half once we could get back to the house.
Hope the move all goes well
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