Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh Labor Day.
A lovely long holiday weekend that sends you off to Eastern Washington to hang out on the old family’s organic garlic farm… a chance to really commune with nature… maybe do a little bbqing… spend a little time in the garden to feel dirt in your hands again… teach your city dog the joy of a walk with no collar or leash and the wonders of pooping in the wild… then there’s the annual horse shoe competition that ends with allegations of cheating and only one possible broken ankle… and then this happy holiday weekend finally ends by driving your car off a cliff in an attempt to get past 15 minutes of traffic…
Me: There is no way the GPS told us to take this exit.
Hubby: Sure it did… but what makes you think that?
Me: Well for one, no one else is taking this exit, which is weird as you would assume more people would want to get past the traffic, and second the road started paved but has turned into a dirt road, AND THIRD the name sign for the road I just turned on ended with the word TRAIL!
Hubby: Babe, I think you’re overreacting.
Me: REALLY!?! Cause I’m beginning to think the GPS didn’t suggest this route and the person who’s in charge of the GPS is instead choosing this route with NO AID FROM THE GPS!
Hubby: That’s not true… I found this road on the GPS as a possible alternate route but it wasn’t letting me select it so…
Me: BECAUSE IT’S NOT A ROAD!! IT’S A TRAIL!!!
Hubby: Calm Down! You’re doing great and per the GPS map we just have a little hill to get over and we’ll run back into the Interstate.
Me: How “little” of a hill?
Hubby:… little…
LIES
IT WAS HUGE
AND SWITCHBACKY
AND HAD A SHEER DROP OFF ON ONE SIDE
AND THE FACT THAT WE DIDN’T PLUMMET OF THE SIDE WAS SHEER LUCK
AND SUPBURB DRIVING ON YOUR PART
OH WELL THANK YOU!
YOU’RE WELCOME!!
REALLY YOU DID SOME EXCELLENT DRIVING, I’M NOT JUST SAYING THAT!
THANK YOU, NERVES AND THE THOUGHT OF KILLING HUBBY WHEN WE MADE IT OUT WERE THE ONLY THINGS KEEPING ME GOING!
WELL GOOD JOB YOU, NOW GO GET A DRINK TO CELEBRATE!
THANKS BUT WE’VE ALREADY BEEN DRINKING SINCE 11AM!
… oh… really?… well…um… wow… okay then.
I drove into a square in Florence Italy once, after driving down a pedestrian street with my wife saying “I think this isn’t a real street,” and me saying “of course it is!” The ticket we received in the mail from Hertz sided with my wife.