As I’ve mentioned before , Orko and I have been getting our run on each morning and it’s been going pretty well… UNTIL THIS MORNING!!!

So we run in a very nice, plain, little, neighborhood… NOT A GUERRILLA RAN TERRITORY IN CENTRAL AMERICA!!!

Orko and I were about a mile into our run when we come up to this huge bush on the corner that someone had done a valiant attempt to prune into a nice neat square, but failed and gave up when said bush grew past 10 feet. And that’s when I hear it…

PREDATOR!!!

It was the same clicky, gargurly, growly thing that the alien did in the jungle to completely scare the bajeesus out of Arnold Schwarzenegger… AND RIGHTFULY SO!!

I pretty much was air born the minute I heard it, Orko was a little more brave/dumb and sniffed the bush where the noise was coming from and that’s when it happened…

A PACK OF FREAKING RACCOONS EXPLODED FROM THE BUSH AND RAN ALL AROUND US!!!

I don’t recall in the pandemonium who decided it was time to get the fuck out of Dodge but Orko and I took off so fast that if I had looked back I am pretty sure I would have seen little cloud outlines of our bodies.

After a couple blocks Okro thought we had gotten far enough away from the death brigade to stop and pee… I didn’t feel it necessary to tell him that I had already taken care of that myself 4 blocks back…

There is a very good chance that the raccoons did the roar thing as Orko and I ran away… and an even better chance they laughed too… Raccoons and Predators… what a bunch of assholes.