It’s all fun and games until your flight loses cabin pressure and the freaking oxygen masks don’t deploy!!!

So as I mentioned in my last blog, I visited the fam a couple weeks ago and almost got taken down at the security check, But BEFORE that I almost died on the flight over… kinda… not really…

The flight started like all flights do, I boarded the plane to find that someone was sitting in my assigned window seat…

Me: … excuse me…

Teenage girl with headphones on happily ignoring me: ….

Me: OY!!! (I like to go British when I’m annoyed)

Startled teenager yanking out headphones: WHAT?!

Me: I think you’re in my seat…

Disappointed teenager giving me big sad eyes: … am I?…

Me: *sigh* it’s fine, I’ll sit aisle.

The next interesting turn around happened on take off when I heard a… BAM! I looked around and noticed that no one else seemed to hear it, or if they did they didn’t look alarmed, so I wrote it off to me not being the calmest of fliers and got out my book.

I had only gotten through maybe a chapter when I suddenly felt myself sliding forward and my lap seatbelt tightening.  I checked the window next to the now sleeping teenager and only saw quickly moving by clouds. I again looked around the plane but, like before, no one was alarmed or even seemed to be aware of our quick descent. I wondered if this was just me being paranoid again?

… No… No, it freaking wasn’t…

DING

Captain: Ladies and gentlemen please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts, we will be landing momentarily.

WHAT!? Momentarily!??! We JUST took off!!

I looked out the window and could now see that we had descended underneath the cloud layer and all I saw were mountains, pointy snow capped peaks, I DID NOT SEE AN AIRPORT OR RUNWAY AVAILABLE FOR LANDING!

Me: Stay calm girl, stay fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

I saw that the seat stealing teenager was sleeping peacefully through our demise. Maybe it was a good thing she and I had switched seats. Being on the aisle allowed me optimal “get the fuck out of here” accessibility to the emergency exits. But then I though what if she doesn’t make it and everyone thinks she’s me since she’s in my seat?  OH MY GOD! They’ll tell Hubby I had died. HE’LL BE HEARTBROKEN!!! I mean she has blonde hair and kinda looks like me, there’s a chance I could be mistaken for… an 18 year old… okay never mind.

DING

Captain: Ladies and gentlemen we had lost cabin pressure, but we have descended to a safe altitude, and will be continuing our flight to Spokane.

… lost cabin pressure… WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR AIR MASKS!?!?

I may not be the best when it comes to paying attention during the safety talk the stewards give, but I’m pretty damn sure I remember someone mentioning how to put on your 1960’s style oxygen cup when there is A LOSS IN FREAKING CABIN PRESSURE!!

What. The. Fuck.

I can’t believe they didn’t drop… it’s outrageous!!…  THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST SELFIE EVER!!

f3d1b1bff85ce0b4bba04e6d7120de66

 

 

About But That's For Another Blog

Wifey, Blogger, Cat Slave, New Puppy Mommy, Huge Nerd, and One Hellofafriend! (Seriously, I have references). SHINY!!
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s