Category Archives: Humor
Turkducken the myth, the legend, the possible explosion…
Me: I’m thinking of doing a Turkducken for Thanksgiving this year! Chicken, in a Duck, in a Turkey!! Hubby: Well it was a nice apartment while it lasted. Me: I am like 63% certain nothing will catch fire this time. … Continue reading
How my butt nearly ended my marriage
Me: Is this a spider bite or a pimple? Hubby: Ah babe come on, I haven’t even had my coffee yet, I’m gonna need you to pull your pants back up. Me: HEY! This is marriage! You said I do … Continue reading
Apparently, by being a sane, nice person this Halloween, I’m actually ruining everything for everyone… yay… go me.
Hubby: So what’s the theme this year? Me: Theme for what? Hubby: Halloween. Me: oh… ya… I though we could just skip it this year. Hubby: Holy Shit. SKIP HALLOWEEN!?! WHAT!? WHY!? You always do Halloween, to the extreme! You … Continue reading
The Martian+Gin+Me = Hubby Asking What He Did To Deserve This Life
Hubby: “… let me just make sure I’m following along with you, Matt Damon’s character would have never gotten off Mars, if it hadn’t been for the NASA guy’s Executive Assistant?” Me: “YES!” Hubby: “… how?” Me: “Oh my god … Continue reading
I went from telling you how to lose friends and alienate people this October, to creating a new inappropriate for work word… WINNING!
I have a secret. A secret that could end friendships, alienate me from family members, and basically make me a social outcast to normal society. I DON’T LIKE PUMPKIN SPICE!! *pause for horrified gasps from the reader* I know, I … Continue reading
I ate my feelings and now I make my yoga pants cry.
“Why are you naked?” That’s a good question, to be asked in elevators, restaurants, planes, and churches. NOT to be asked by your hubby when you’re standing in your own bedroom. “Excuse me?” Another good question, to be asked when … Continue reading
2018 and people can’t stop giving me money… it sucks.
So I don’t know about the rest of you, but the first day back after the holiday season is tough, especially when you’re someone like me who took 2 weeks off. Just the fact that I was able to roll … Continue reading
It’s never too early for Jesus, and apparently a hearing aid…
My office mate, Ciera, walked into our office with a concerned look on her face. She turned to me and asked… “Is it too early for Jesus?”. Now I’m not an overly religious person, in fact I just had to … Continue reading
How helping a friend decide on her family’s first Halloween themed costumes nearly ended an 8 year friendship.
Tracy: I need help coming up with ideas for our Halloween costumes! You’re creative, have any ideas!?! Me: Wow, the pressure… OH this!! Tracy:… okay don’t judge… but I’ve never seen this movie… Me: …let me reply with this… Tracy: I’ve … Continue reading
“And Then I Died a Little Inside”… not really but that’s a pretty gripping post title, right up there with “She Thought it Was Going to be Just Another Gyno Appointment Until…”
I just had the worlds greatest conversation and finished it off with the most spot on joke that was so freaking funny, I peed a little. I then turned to see what status of hilarity my office mate was in after … Continue reading