Tag Archives: funny

How my butt nearly ended my marriage

Me: Is this a spider bite or a pimple? Hubby: Ah babe come on, I haven’t even had my coffee yet, I’m gonna need you to pull your pants back up. Me: HEY! This is marriage! You said I do … Continue reading

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I went from telling you how to lose friends and alienate people this October, to creating a new inappropriate for work word… WINNING!

I have a secret. A secret that could end friendships, alienate me from family members, and basically make me a social outcast to normal society. I DON’T LIKE PUMPKIN SPICE!! *pause for horrified gasps from the reader* I know, I … Continue reading

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“And Then I Died a Little Inside”… not really but that’s a pretty gripping post title, right up there with “She Thought it Was Going to be Just Another Gyno Appointment Until…”

I just had the worlds greatest conversation and finished it off with the most spot on joke that was so freaking funny, I peed a little. I then turned to see what status of hilarity my office mate was in after … Continue reading

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COURTESY FLUSH DAY WAS YESTERDAY, AND I MISSED IT!?!?!?!?

Okay I know there is LITERALLY a day for everything, I mean seriously, here’s just a few I found with a quick Google search: Answer Your Cat’s Question Day (but just the one question and try not to freak out … Continue reading

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This started with me wanting to tell you about how my daily drives across long bridges has caused me to create Jason Bourne like ultimate escape plans if things every go bat shit crazy and me and Silvie go overboard, but ended with a chronological recap of all my cars names… and how I killed them… awkward.

Silvie is my car, her name is Silvie because she’s silver. That’s why I don’t spell it Sylvie, so all you English majors, spell checking Nazis, can just take a step back… I’m talking to you dad. Now that I think … Continue reading

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How a majestic fucking eagle tried to kill me but then killed someone else… because it looked so damn majestic.

So while driving across the 520 bridge into work this morning, I saw a huge bald eagle sitting on top of a light pole up ahead of me. I decided I had to take a picture as he was looking majestic as … Continue reading

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It started with Pinterest posts and ended with my inevitable death by explosion… classic Thursday.

Whitney: I just sent this to you via Pinterest but it’s too funny so I’m texting it to you too! Me: LOL, have you seen my ‘Word’ section in Pinterest?  I love these things, here’s a great one for me… … Continue reading

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