Tag Archives: life

COURTESY FLUSH DAY WAS YESTERDAY, AND I MISSED IT!?!?!?!?

Okay I know there is LITERALLY a day for everything, I mean seriously, here’s just a few I found with a quick Google search: Answer Your Cat’s Question Day (but just the one question and try not to freak out … Continue reading

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This started with me wanting to tell you about how my daily drives across long bridges has caused me to create Jason Bourne like ultimate escape plans if things every go bat shit crazy and me and Silvie go overboard, but ended with a chronological recap of all my cars names… and how I killed them… awkward.

Silvie is my car, her name is Silvie because she’s silver. That’s why I don’t spell it Sylvie, so all you English majors, spell checking Nazis, can just take a step back… I’m talking to you dad. Now that I think … Continue reading

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Either working for Macy’s is like working for the CIA… or my friend’s an ass…. she’s an ass.

So I was at Macy’s trying to find a replacement for my favorite bra that after years of faithful service attempted to assassinate me in it’s final hour by impaling me with its underwire. While walking through the maze that … Continue reading

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It only took a mummified dinasour to make me the smartest person in my marriage!

Me: Oh babe look, this article says scientist found a mummified dinasour and there’s pictures!! Hubby: But who wrapped the mummy? Me:… Hubby:… Me:… Hubby: Oh my god. Me: Oh my god! Hubby: I can’t believe I said that. Me: … Continue reading

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How a majestic fucking eagle tried to kill me but then killed someone else… because it looked so damn majestic.

So while driving across the 520 bridge into work this morning, I saw a huge bald eagle sitting on top of a light pole up ahead of me. I decided I had to take a picture as he was looking majestic as … Continue reading

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When your Skype conversation starts about fashion and ends with a suicidal spirit animal.

So sorry for the blurry of the blown up images! Could I have typed out the conversation instead? Sure… Did I? No. Why not? Lazy… come on people you read my blog, this should really come as no surprise!

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It’s all fun and games until your flight loses cabin pressure and the freaking oxygen masks don’t deploy!!!

So as I mentioned in my last blog, I visited the fam a couple weeks ago and almost got taken down at the security check, But BEFORE that I almost died on the flight over… kinda… not really… The flight … Continue reading

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Per the TSA I’m a bread carrying, lock picking, weirdo…

So while flying back from Spokane to Seattle, a couple weeks ago, I learned about what to NOT have in your carry on bag! When you’re visiting your parents and your mother teaches you how to make homemade bread. DO NOT let her … Continue reading

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It started with Pinterest posts and ended with my inevitable death by explosion… classic Thursday.

Whitney: I just sent this to you via Pinterest but it’s too funny so I’m texting it to you too! Me: LOL, have you seen my ‘Word’ section in Pinterest?  I love these things, here’s a great one for me… … Continue reading

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Hubby thinks I’ve reached a point of ridiculousness that there is absolutely no chance of coming back from… I hope so!!!

Hubby:… What… The… Hell? Me: Don’t hate us cause we’re awesome.

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