Tag Archives: random
Per Hubby, our marriage is cured, but I still need some work…
Me: Don’t forget, couples counseling tomorrow at 5. Hubby: Oh ya, I don’t think I’m going to go to those for a while. Me:… Oh… My… God… is this your way of saying you’re divorcing me!? CAUSE NOT COOL, I MEAN WINE A … Continue reading
BOOBS!!!… that is all.
Hubby: BABE!? Me: sup? Hubby: Why is there a post it note on the fridge with the word boobs in bold and highlighted? Me: To remind me. Hubby: That you have boobs? Me: No, that’s just silly. I haven’t needed … Continue reading
COURTESY FLUSH DAY WAS YESTERDAY, AND I MISSED IT!?!?!?!?
Okay I know there is LITERALLY a day for everything, I mean seriously, here’s just a few I found with a quick Google search: Answer Your Cat’s Question Day (but just the one question and try not to freak out … Continue reading
This started with me wanting to tell you about how my daily drives across long bridges has caused me to create Jason Bourne like ultimate escape plans if things every go bat shit crazy and me and Silvie go overboard, but ended with a chronological recap of all my cars names… and how I killed them… awkward.
Silvie is my car, her name is Silvie because she’s silver. That’s why I don’t spell it Sylvie, so all you English majors, spell checking Nazis, can just take a step back… I’m talking to you dad. Now that I think … Continue reading
Does this make me quirky or deranged… it’s a fine line… plus I’m pretty sure my officemate has super powers.
It’s quiet at work… too quiet… quiet enough for me to hear my thoughts… and not the normal thoughts… like, what should I have for lunch, did I turn off the iron, is that smell coming from me… no… I’m talking about the other … Continue reading
Either working for Macy’s is like working for the CIA… or my friend’s an ass…. she’s an ass.
So I was at Macy’s trying to find a replacement for my favorite bra that after years of faithful service attempted to assassinate me in it’s final hour by impaling me with its underwire. While walking through the maze that … Continue reading
How a majestic fucking eagle tried to kill me but then killed someone else… because it looked so damn majestic.
So while driving across the 520 bridge into work this morning, I saw a huge bald eagle sitting on top of a light pole up ahead of me. I decided I had to take a picture as he was looking majestic as … Continue reading
When your Skype conversation starts about fashion and ends with a suicidal spirit animal.
So sorry for the blurry of the blown up images! Could I have typed out the conversation instead? Sure… Did I? No. Why not? Lazy… come on people you read my blog, this should really come as no surprise!