Tag Archives: story

I went from telling you how to lose friends and alienate people this October, to creating a new inappropriate for work word… WINNING!

I have a secret. A secret that could end friendships, alienate me from family members, and basically make me a social outcast to normal society. I DON’T LIKE PUMPKIN SPICE!! *pause for horrified gasps from the reader* I know, I … Continue reading

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You’ve destroyed a friendship… HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Okay! I’m starting to get death threats, so I will now tell the story of Ashley’s Awesomely Evil Surprise Birthday… but first, BACK STORY!… shut up, every great story needs back up. February – Ashley announces she wants to have her 30th … Continue reading

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I went to a wine festival to buy bed sheets… of course I did.

(Disclaimer – yes I know my fonts are F’d up, but after an hour of trying to fix them I threw my arms up in the air, shouted some expletives, and hit the publish button… deal.) Portland’s Spring Beer and Wine … Continue reading

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Oh good grief…

There are certain things some people should just not do.  Blind People should not give friends haircuts 700 pound women should not wear mini-skirts I should not attempt to slide into a base … guess which one of these things … Continue reading

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And then I peed my pants

Well that’s it people, I have officially seen the funniest thing I’m ever gonna see. The world holds no mystery for me anymore. When? Last night Where? Our living room Who? CIA Cat, Hubby, and Me What? The Laser Pointer … Continue reading

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Sparkley… TAKE A DRINK!

Once again I’ve tasted shoe… bleck.  Confused? Well of course you are you’re reading my blog after all, but I’ll clarify.  Tasting shoe basically transfers to putting your foot in your mouth… aahhh now you get it, aren’t I clever! … Continue reading

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Childhood memories OH GOD OH GOD WE’RE GONNA DIE

I’ve had a few several many near death experiences in my life. I really gotta hand it to my Guardian Angel, that lady has been able to divert trains, semi-trucks, boulders, reattached a bungee cord, kept 2 trucks and 1 car from flipping with me in … Continue reading

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