Tag Archives: texting

Either working for Macy’s is like working for the CIA… or my friend’s an ass…. she’s an ass.

So I was at Macy’s trying to find a replacement for my favorite bra that after years of faithful service attempted to assassinate me in it’s final hour by impaling me with its underwire. While walking through the maze that … Continue reading

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Not to be outdone by my marriage, my friendship is making an aggressive bid for best text conversation!!

I sent this amazing photo to my friend Whitney…

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Texting once again is helping me to see that my marriage is pretty on point.

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Snapchat is saving/ruining my marriage

I love Snapchat… I don’t actually post anything because why waste my comedic genius when it will just disappear!?!  (funny side note spell check showed me I misspelled comedic, genius, and disappear… so not that “genius” after all.) What I do use … Continue reading

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How I broke my friend and made her question her life, all while I didn’t watch the Bachelor

I wish I liked the Bachelor, so many of my friends like that show and listening to them each morning losing their shit over who did what, who wasn’t picked, who was picked, who kissed who, who didn’t kiss who, who … Continue reading

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My Hubby and the Dog find the idea of me running horrifying… harsh.

So my fabulous job has lunches catered into the office and, like most days, I ate WAY too much and was paying for it later in the day with buddha food belly regrets. I texted Hubby about the terrible tummy situation I was … Continue reading

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Marriage, it’s about really knowing your partner, and the awkward photos that follow…

  I love my Hubby and pretty sure on good days he loves me, but I’m certain that if there had been texting back when we started dating, about 20 years ago, he would have NEVER given me a second date. Case … Continue reading

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Sometimes you just need a friend to call you a filthy whore.

So I made the classic mistake of inviting people to my house. It’s not that I don’t like people, I LOVE people. I love feeding people and making them drink absurd amounts of wine, all the while making them go … Continue reading

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Well… we can now add kitchen tables to things that SPONTANEOUSLY catch fire in my presence… with very little help from me…

So… I would just like to repeat what I said after the bathroom fire of 2002 AND the oven-mitts fire of 2014… IT WAS NOT MY FRACKING FAULT!!!! Seriously this time, I really mean it!! The candle was defective!!!! And instead of burning out when it … Continue reading

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If you live in Arizona, please do not be alarmed by fire balls in the sky for the next month…

After doing some number crunching Hubby and I discovered that we spend around the sum of a small countries national income on eating out. We decided to make all our meals at home… outside… on the grill.  Hubby’s request, apparently all … Continue reading

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